Tag Archives: Miscellaneous

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When You Accomplish a Goal

To me, there’s nothing more satisfying then setting a goal and achieving it. It’s a high that I can honestly say is much more intense than anything else. I set a goal of weight loss, and right now I’m 100% on track to that loss. At a rate of 10 lbs a month, my goal of pregnancy weight by at least my birthday, if very much achievable if I keep at this goal. This is a minor goal, but it’s a goal that I’m on the patch of achieving. It’s quite rewarding working towards something. Maybe the fact I get such an incredible feeling of working hard towards goals makes it so I don’t understand how people can lazily slink by in life without goals or a sense of hard work or a sense of wanting to achieve something. I couldn’t imagine just getting a book deal without working for it. I couldn’t imagine being handed money and be told “don’t worry about a thing, I’ve got this”. I couldn’t imagine starving myself or popping some pill craze of the month to lose the weight. I don’t like the easy way out. I think I do have a habit of looking down on people I don’t think have goals or too lazy to achieve them. I admit this is a shortcoming. But, I just can’t imagine being like that. I can’t imagine handouts being worthy of bragging. I can’t imagine not trying to accomplish something.

It’s NaNoWriMo. So far, it’s day 4. On day 4, I am more than half way farther than I was the entire month when I attempted this last time. I only accomplished 10,000 words 2 years ago when I failed. Today, I’m at 6,095 words. I think this is doable, and I think I can do this. I think I will do this, though I’m afraid to jinx it. I feel good about it. I’m energized by the progress, and I think the quality of the product is going to be fantastic. This also makes me incredible. I’m excited to get back into this. Writing gives me a purpose in life. Parenting is fulfilling, but my writing gives me my purpose. I feel like a broken record saying this, but it’s more than just my love of words that makes writing my purpose. It stands for so much. It stands for my sacrifice of sanity by spending all that time on campus. It stands for my belief that you set goals and you go for them. Even more than that, it practices what I preach to my son. I told him, “you can be whatever you want in this world if you want it enough and work hard for it”. The only way to show hard work and how to set goals and achieve them is by showing your child how. Otherwise, you teach your child there’s an easy way and that’s the way to go. I refuse that for my children. They deserve the best in the world, and you have to work for the best. The best isn’t given to you, and people lie to you if they tell you otherwise.

The moral of the story? Dream it, and then do it. You deserve the chance to be whatever you want to be. Find your own NaNoWriMo. Prove to yourself that you are more than the circumstances you surround yourself with. You can’t expect other people to change, you need to be the change. You can’t tell your child the world is there’s to take if you aren’t willing to take it yourself. The best part of the dream is to live it. And if you can’t live it, the dream will always be there to move towards. It’s your choice whether or not you want stagnancy or achievement. But don’t blame anyone but yourself if you don’t want to work for anything and you stay in the same situation. You have the power to move or stand still. And if you stay still in a burning building, only you’re to blame for the burns you get.

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The Definition of Insanity

Albert Einstein mentioned about insanity being defined as “doing the same thing over again and expecting different results”. With that statement, 90% of Americans are insane. We never learn. Ever. There are women that get smacked around or cheated on and decide “that’s the last time, he loves me”, and guess what? They’ll do it again because we repeat cycles until the cycle breaks. Right Chris Brown?  We don’t change something about ourselves, but complain about how you’re stuck in a rut. You’re only stuck because you don’t want to move out of your position. That makes it your problem, not mine. If you want a change, change it yourself. The world won’t change it for you.

I was watching some of the Congress “interview” of Secretary Sebelius. One person repeated the same question over and over again. “Why aren’t you on the exchange? If it’s good enough for the American people, why aren’t you on it?” While the point has some validity, Secretary Sebelius repeated that it was because she was on the Federal Employee Plan. Now if I had Federal Employee insurance, I wouldn’t bother with anything else even to prove a point. However, I’m not. Why did he bother wasting his time asking the same question for the whole 2 minutes he’s allotted instead of something constructive. Maybe he wasn’t wasting time, maybe he was proving a point that only true geniuses could understand: the healthcare law doesn’t appropriately make note of mental illness and insanity! I’m onto your game…

Sarcasm aside, the plan itself wasn’t a bad idea. But like most things, even the best ideals fail as a result of humanity being terrible.  The idea that people should be able to get insurance without being discriminated against as a result of pre-existing conditions, insurance should be more affordable for the average middle class person, and insurance companies should stop being glorified thieves. Then people get involved, and it all went to poop. Now, while the Democrats are responsible for putting forth a plan that seems to not be everything it promised, I will also play the “the Republicans are at fault as well” card. If the plan was as awful as they say it was, why not make a better one instead of just telling us that it’s bad. No, instead you spend tax payers money doing absolutely nothing but trying to repeal something that seems to be un-repealable instead of showing America that you can do better. Prove us American’s wrong and show us that you actually care about us, and not being in power over us. We put you there, and we can take you out of there.

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Keep After It

Sometimes I get lucky and I can write forever. I get ahead of my blog and Hubpages and get to try to enjoy myself. Most other times, I sit here staring at a screen hoping I get lucky and something will come to me. The rest of the time neither scenario works out well for me, and nothing ever comes. This is an unfortunate set of events that makes me hope that I’m in a slump that will end in 6 days time so I can accomplish my NaNoWriMo goal. I considered my rejected list of posts to do another “Rejected Blog”, but there’s only 2 sitting in that pile. One is just too boring to bother with and the other I’m just not quite ready to unleash yet. That leaves me here, where my mind has failed me.

I seem to come from a dying breed of people, there seems to be too few of us in my generation. I realize that this isn’t going to come easy, and I’m okay with that. I don’t want an easy solution or an easy way out. I want to work my butt off to succeed, because if I’m lucky enough to succeed I know it’ll be so very worth it. I want the feeling of being successful. I want the feeling of winning. I don’t want to be given my win; I want to earn every second of this joy of doing something that I want. I want the amazing feeling of knowing that I sold a ton of books and can watch my children’s dreams come true. I want the feeling that I taught my boys that working hard for your goals is the most rewarding thing we can possibly do. Sure, it’s easier to have things given to us. But it’s a hell of a lot sweeter to earn it yourself. I hope they’ll take that lesson and follow their dreams and be successful in them. That would end up being my greatest accomplishment.

People are their own worst enemies. People give up too easily. People are lazy and uninspired. I like to put my everything into everything I attempt. My father always told me not to go “half-ass”. If you’re going to do something, do it. My parents also instilled in me the need to work hard and accomplish my dreams. I was lucky that my parents always pushed me towards something, anything. I’m lucky that my husband is the same way as I am, so I have a partner that feels strongly in this ideal and that we want our children to be more successful in life than we are. We don’t give our oldest son free money, he earns it by depositing empty bottles and cans. I hope that I can make my children be the re-emergence of hardworking ideals. I hope that my time is coming, and I’ll gain a level of even mediocre success. I’m not greedy, even the equivalent of minimum wage level earnings will make me happy. But I’ll keep after it, because it’s worth it to work hard for something.

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Random Thoughts from the Weekend

An eventful weekend always leads to this, a random post of things that happened since my Friday’s post. With all that said, a weekend round-up of events.

  • Oops, they did it again. The Red Sox made the World Series again, after coming back from one of the worst seasons in my recollection watching them. So, will they succeed? I don’t know, I hate baseball and following it makes me bored to tears. I only pay attention to my oldest son’s games because I’m a supportive mom and it’s my job. Regardless, go Sox? If for no other reason than I want to watch my television shows and with the World Series on, my shows are not. So let’s hope for a very swift win or a very swift loss. Preferably for a win, because I would suffer listen to them complaining about a loss until the next year.
  • The bad call heard around ESPN. What I’m about to say, might make me a very hated person. But the Patriots deserved that terribly bogus call. Was the call ridiculous? Oh absolutely. Could I say absolutely that cost the game? No way, the way they played cost them the game. People are saying “well that screwed up our chances to win”. I can say, with a little confidence, that I don’t think the penalty really mattered. First of all, if the Patriots didn’t play so god awful before hand that play wouldn’t have mattered. Secondly, with how terrible they played who’s to say that they wouldn’t even scored after that, and then let the Jets walk all over them and end up with a field goal anyways. Sure, that’s not a definitely and the Patriots could have surprised me. But then I’ll go back to my original point that if they didn’t fail so bad before, this wouldn’t matter.
  • My Next NaNoWriMo attempt. I almost didn’t want to attempt it a second time. I’m me, and I’m not a quitter. I know enough that it would nag at me if I didn’t attempt it again. I don’t like to quit, and I like failing even less. Maybe I’ll redeem myself, but maybe I’ll fail again. And if I do, I’ll try again. And again… and again. Until I win, because that’s the type of person I am. I’m not really afraid to fail again, because I know I’m stubborn enough not to give up. I don’t give up when my weight stalls, I don’t give up when it seems like there’s no hope. I am not a quitter. So next month, I’m going to stock up on coffee and creamers. I have stocked up on Post-Its and pens. I’ll go crazy, I’ll be sleepless, but I’m willing to risk that. It’s go time.
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Why Do We Even Bother?

When I was a child, I felt that all I had to do in life was to strive to be something that mattered to me. I was more realistic as I grew older and realized that this was a foolish ideal. There’s a reason they are called “starving artists”. So I went to college with the intention of being a teacher. This was a miserable choice for many reasons. The most important was because as well intentioned as I was in going into that field, it was unrealistic in a world where teachers are viewed as underpaid and overworked babysitters that teach to a test that doesn’t work. Plus, I hated the classes and it made me hate every second I was in school.

My husband, the supportive person he is, decided I should follow my dreams. It became his mission to make sure I became a writer and stuck with it no matter how discouraged I was. We are a partnership, and we were in this together no matter what. I try not to become discouraged at my progress. I dreamed that my writing, in combination with his job, would land me in a nice Victorian house with a decent yard, an office with wall to wall bookshelves, and each child would have their own room where they would play Legos or Barbies are whatever they wanted and a kitchen that you can see on Food Network. Alas… so much for dreams?

I often sit while writing and asking “why do I even bother?” We live in a world where hard work no longer matters and you have to hope for a string of good luck to carry you a little bit. Whenever I get discouraged in my writing or working out or anything else, I always say “I’m Brianne Kelly LaRochelle, and I’m no quitter”. This usually helps me get through a few minutes before my Irish temper flares up and I ask why I even bother. Why do we even bother? We live in a culture where things are given and not earned and it leaves a crappy world for the people who try their hardest to break through. Mediocrity is rewarded by everyone getting an equal prize or congrats. The ones who fight the hardest drown the fastest, at least that’s the way it seems.

I’m a fighter though, at least that’s what I try and tell myself. I’m fiery, and my spirit won’t be broken by my own failures or pity parties of “when will my time come?”. I’m retrying NaNoWriMo again next month, and I hope this one will be much more successful though at least I can say that I made it 1/5 of the way to the goal last time. That attempt lead to my first e-book. Maybe this one will lead to me completing my 3rd. (Also shameless plug, the “Buy My Works Here” link to the side lead you to my e-books on sale for $0.99 each.) So why do I even bother? Because I want my children to grow up with dreams that they want to achieve and the lesson that it will take a lot of hard work to accomplish this. Nothing in this life that is worthwhile comes for free.

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If the Exercise Doesn’t Kill You, the Food Just Might

Since giving birth a year ago, losing weight has been a bit of a struggle. Okay, it’s been a seemingly impossible task. I have been more successful lately since no longer having to take in extra calories for nursing purposes. Now, it’s all on me without an excuse of “well I just had a baby”. That excuse sailed the minute my baby turned one. I don’t need to lose weight for my husband; that poor sap loves me regardless. This is for me so I can feel myself again. I never once stopped to think that I would never want to feel my limbs again. To assist me in this, I use Noom. This app on my phone can easily be a credit to my losing the 15lbs I have since my stalemate with the scale after the scale stalled when I lost the water weight and swelling. Not bad in a month and a half.. I don’t think so anyways.

Exercise helps, but the main culprit is the food you take it and how much of it you take in. I count my calories… well I log my food so Noom can count my calories. It’s hard sometimes to enjoy yourself though, as I’m currently writing this while suffering through a Healthy Choice meal consisting of whole wheat ziti. The rest of the food wasn’t so bad… but damn that pasta tastes like cardboard. The rest of the meal was barely tolerable, leaving me to realize that Lean Cuisine makes the more palatable diet food. But Healthy Choice was on sale… I’ve started with Slim Fast shakes, which once you get over the weird chalky feeling left in your mouth and the constant need to shake it if you don’t chug it in one shot otherwise it tastes vile, isn’t so bad. I’m finding half the time lately I’m eating less because the food is sometimes terrible and not because I’m starving myself to be an anorexic twig.

I do my exercise diligently, alternating daily with which routines I do. Yesterday Noom dared me to do 10 “burpees”, which I had never heard of but decided after watching the video that it couldn’t be that bad. Today, my legs feel like they are detached from my body and I cringe when the baby asks to be picked up because I want to forget I have arms. I am happy to report I did successfully accomplish 13 of them though. But at what cost? I didn’t need to walk or do anything with my arms anyways. I’m a glutton for punishment so after Zumba tonight, I will try to beat my record. In fact, I’m going to try every day to beat whatever record I have set because if I’m this sore the day after, it must’ve been good for me.

That’s the biggest lesson I have taken away from this: if it tastes bad or makes you hurt afterwards, you’re doing it right. Not really. You can luck out and have fantastic diet food. Lean Cuisine pizzas are better tasting than most of the frozen pizzas I have come across. But you don’t necessarily have to restrict what you eat, sometimes just not having as much of it. Portions seem to be the real key. I’m losing weight, and I’m feeling pretty well. I have more energy, which is great because on days like today I feel like I need more energy to try and move my muscles around. I hope to meet my targets I have currently set: I want to be back to my pregnancy weight by my husband’s work’s Christmas part; I want to be a few pounds less than that for my birthday; and I want to be back down to my weight in college by the summer. These are achievable goals, especially if I keep at this nearly 15lbs a month loss. Losing weight takes work and it takes a level of discipline and will-power. You can’t expect to live off of fast food and take out and lose weight. Starving yourself makes matters worse, not better. And exercise is great for your physical and mental health. Don’t give up though, imagine how much time it took to put on that weight and it’ll probably take that if not more to lose it again. I focus on that and how I want to be around to see my future grandchildren, and it helps keep me focused and determined to get healthy.

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When to Self-Censor

I had a post written out that I stood 100% by. I believe every word I write here, there’s nothing I say that I don’t mean with every fiber of my being. Maybe I’ll post it later. I won’t delete it though, because I don’t believe in deleting a post as much as I don’t believe in erasing a tattoo. It’s a part of me and my thoughts and I refuse to delete it, even if I decide never to post it. I wrote it in anger. Anger isn’t the right word. It was posted out of sincere disgust of people. Writing in anger is an acceptable form of catharsis. Writing in disgust seems much more than that. It seems hateful. There wasn’t hate in my sentiment when I wrote it.

The problem with art is it’s subjective. A completely innocuous post of beliefs can turn into arguments and hurt feelings. With this dilemma, artists need to make a decision whether or not to self-censor. Some don’t, because negative publicity is still publicity. Some don’t, because they feel this ruins the integrity of what they do. I fall into the latter category. I did do it this time, because it felt right to. That’s the final category of writers: the ones with a great conscience to wrestle with. While I think my original post had very valid points, I felt it was too harsh. Or maybe it wasn’t harsh enough, but enough to cause hurt feelings. Though if someone were offended by the post, I feel it would be as a result of a guilty conscience of theirs rather than a cold gesture of my own.

I have to make a decision what to do with it. I still feel as strongly about it today as I did yesterday when I composed it. I admit I’m struggling with what to do. I can’t fully say that I won’t post it, but I can say if and when I do, I will post it unapologetically because I don’t feel like I should apologize for my well-intentioned beliefs. People shouldn’t apologize for their well-intentioned beliefs, only ones based in hate. And art should remain full of its artist’s integrity. It’s an age-old dilemma of whether or not to self-censor yourself as a person or as a person in the arts. We live in a culture today where everything is taken personally without a regard of the person’s right to believe in something.

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Did The Government Shut Down?

With this government shut down, I can honestly say in my daily life I can’t tell anything ever happened. The new keeps telling me how awful or how nonexistent the effects are to the average American. Realistically, I think that the shut down will cost more to start-up after the stalemate between partisan egos end. If they end. I lied; this does have an effect on my daily life. My headache has gotten worse, as has my feelings of apathy towards those in office. The new organizations can’t decide how or if this even matters. As I said in my last post, one of the things that we have noticed is that we didn’t notice departments of government shut down which makes me wonder if they were even necessary to begin with.

Now I keep hearing about how death benefits are being denied to our soldiers. That’s abhorrent. Loathsome. Disgraceful. But while our politicians are feigning outrage over this, how much money is going into their own personal care that could easily be given to these soldier’s families? How much does that gym cost? For the record, it doesn’t look like half of them even use it. So how much does it cost for the congressional gym not to be used, or to have their hair perfectly styled and their shoes sparkly shined? Don’t act like Obama is a villain over this from your high horse, while you’re enjoying benefits at the cost of tax payers while people are suffering. News flash: you’re all whiny entitled brats that think American’s are stupid enough to think one party is at fault here. Okay, I’ll give you that a great majority of America is too stupid to realize that you’re all against us. I’m onto your treachery.

Then there is the debt ceiling. One side has reached out to another, “let’s compromise”. Compromise is for adults, and last I check all you elected people are acting more like children than my own children. I have a prediction. This is how the “compromise talks” will go: “Get rid of Obamacare”. “No”. “I mean it, it’s gone or else”. “I dare you”. Then the shut down happens. Oh.. shoot, we were talking about the debt ceiling, weren’t we? You all need to grow up. We elected you to do a job, and you all suck at it. If we sucked at our jobs, we wouldn’t get paid and we would get fired. This needs to apply to our elected officials too. I can fix this political debate. Congress should get paid minimum wage, should get to follow every law they pass without exception, they should have to go through with reviews from their bosses (ie: constituents.), and they should have to pay for their grooming and gym themselves like the average American has to. And if we don’t like them, we should be able to fire them on the spot instead of waiting for them to buy their elections. Maybe it’s time we show those in power that the American citizens are their bosses and they need to answer to us.

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I’m Back!

Which is more than I can say about our government. (Cue “Rimshot”) I wish I could say I was off on some exotic vacation or caught up in the Red Sox playoff fever or wallowing over the downfall of my beloved Patriots. I wish I could even say that I had some super important thing I needed to do rather than write this blog. However, it’s none of the above. The “mild” illness that picked off my boys one by one and left them ill for a couple of days hit him. And when it came my way, it must’ve multiplied by each person it hit before me. At first, I decided “you boys are wusses, I’ve got this” and when I kicked it in two days time I discovered it was a trick my immune system played on me. My cold left me wanting to sleep in the bathroom so I had less to walk to make it there. Well played, body, but I did proceed to lose 5 lbs without working out due to the “sickness” diet. But now I’m back and in fighting shape.

Well except for that now that I’m no longer sick with an illness attacking my immune system, I’m not being attacked by a virus I can’t seem to shake called, and pardon my language, “bullshit”. That’s right, I said it. I’m conflicted. I want to be upset with the government, not because they’re shutdown but because of what they shut down. Sure, we’ve discovered that there are some people who are unnecessary in the grand scheme of keeping up the government. But why is it that we’re paying millions of dollars for certain vanities for the politicians to enjoy when there are people suffering. We can’t find money to pay out benefits to soldiers or help WIC or Housing programs for people in need but they can find money to pay for the private barber shops and such for our politicians? They need haircuts, polished shoes and clean suits, but babies don’t need formula and families don’t need help to bury a soldier that died so they can have those “free” haircuts. Who decides what’s really necessary? I’m not sure what’s worse though: that people are suffering and don’t even know it or that no one can tell us how we’re really suffering?

You guys want to be babies, do it on your own time. The smart people are blaming both sides for this cluster of disaster. The Republicans seem to only want to postpone Obamacare, which on the surface doesn’t seem unreasonable until we discover that they will continue to use that as a bargaining chip every year until they can get rid of it and they think we’re too stupid to know that. The Democrats seem to only want to not give up anything, which works because people are only reporting that the Republican’s are at fault here. If America was truly smart, we would fire everyone in office and start from scratch. Not because I think that the people we elect in their place will be any better, but because it will show them that we’re America and we will decide not some snot nosed entitled politician with their own political aspirations that they care more about than the people who elect them. If we don’t re-elect any of them, we will send a message that we’re in charge, not the highest bidder.

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The Blabbering Man

I can safely say that I predict a fun-filled presidential election coming up. Hell, I can say with such confidence that the 2014 elections are going to be full of awesome. Not because we’re suddenly hitting a group of politicians that actually care about us, but we’re hitting a group of politicians that are only concerned about being president. I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “but Brianne, they all want to be president. Why else would they go into politics?” Valid point, but some go in because they honestly think they can make a difference, but then money and power corrupt them and turn them into every other politician out there.

Case in point: Only a politician can go on for 21 hours rambling on. Good news, Sen. Cruz might have broken the “I’m going to talk my brains out forever because it’s not like senate gets anything done anyways” record. I’ll get back to you on that. Why did he go on? Some say because he made a promise to his constituents that he would end Obamacare and wanted to keep that promise. Sure, if that was the case why would he only start this crusade now and not the minute he was elected and sworn into office? My theory is that he’s more selfish than we’re giving him credit for. He wants the presidential spot in 2016 and thinks this is the way to do it. As much as people may or may not hate Obamacare, didn’t he learn anything from the 2012 election? We want laws that improve us, not someone to run on the sole focus of getting rid of a law.

Do you know who suffers in this case? Not the politicians. If the government shuts down, they still make their obscene overpaid wages. The average government worker is going to lose their jobs or wages or benefits. I think that if they want to shut down government, they should sacrifice their pay too. In fact, I think they should sacrifice their pay for the average person who would lose theirs as a result of their arrogance and lack of care. Only in the Utopian world in my head would this happen.

Instead of stopping a bill because you don’t like it and rambling on for hours about it, how about you decide to make how to make a difference in the world. You might have gotten elected on a platform to end a law, but that doesn’t mean that is your only job. You were voted in to make a difference. You were voted in because people were stupid enough to think that you were going to change the way things were going in Washington. Make that change and do something good for your constituents, not “do something good for your presidential run”.