When I was a child, I felt that all I had to do in life was to strive to be something that mattered to me. I was more realistic as I grew older and realized that this was a foolish ideal. There’s a reason they are called “starving artists”. So I went to college with the intention of being a teacher. This was a miserable choice for many reasons. The most important was because as well intentioned as I was in going into that field, it was unrealistic in a world where teachers are viewed as underpaid and overworked babysitters that teach to a test that doesn’t work. Plus, I hated the classes and it made me hate every second I was in school.
My husband, the supportive person he is, decided I should follow my dreams. It became his mission to make sure I became a writer and stuck with it no matter how discouraged I was. We are a partnership, and we were in this together no matter what. I try not to become discouraged at my progress. I dreamed that my writing, in combination with his job, would land me in a nice Victorian house with a decent yard, an office with wall to wall bookshelves, and each child would have their own room where they would play Legos or Barbies are whatever they wanted and a kitchen that you can see on Food Network. Alas… so much for dreams?
I often sit while writing and asking “why do I even bother?” We live in a world where hard work no longer matters and you have to hope for a string of good luck to carry you a little bit. Whenever I get discouraged in my writing or working out or anything else, I always say “I’m Brianne Kelly LaRochelle, and I’m no quitter”. This usually helps me get through a few minutes before my Irish temper flares up and I ask why I even bother. Why do we even bother? We live in a culture where things are given and not earned and it leaves a crappy world for the people who try their hardest to break through. Mediocrity is rewarded by everyone getting an equal prize or congrats. The ones who fight the hardest drown the fastest, at least that’s the way it seems.
I’m a fighter though, at least that’s what I try and tell myself. I’m fiery, and my spirit won’t be broken by my own failures or pity parties of “when will my time come?”. I’m retrying NaNoWriMo again next month, and I hope this one will be much more successful though at least I can say that I made it 1/5 of the way to the goal last time. That attempt lead to my first e-book. Maybe this one will lead to me completing my 3rd. (Also shameless plug, the “Buy My Works Here” link to the side lead you to my e-books on sale for $0.99 each.) So why do I even bother? Because I want my children to grow up with dreams that they want to achieve and the lesson that it will take a lot of hard work to accomplish this. Nothing in this life that is worthwhile comes for free.