To me, there’s nothing more satisfying then setting a goal and achieving it. It’s a high that I can honestly say is much more intense than anything else. I set a goal of weight loss, and right now I’m 100% on track to that loss. At a rate of 10 lbs a month, my goal of pregnancy weight by at least my birthday, if very much achievable if I keep at this goal. This is a minor goal, but it’s a goal that I’m on the patch of achieving. It’s quite rewarding working towards something. Maybe the fact I get such an incredible feeling of working hard towards goals makes it so I don’t understand how people can lazily slink by in life without goals or a sense of hard work or a sense of wanting to achieve something. I couldn’t imagine just getting a book deal without working for it. I couldn’t imagine being handed money and be told “don’t worry about a thing, I’ve got this”. I couldn’t imagine starving myself or popping some pill craze of the month to lose the weight. I don’t like the easy way out. I think I do have a habit of looking down on people I don’t think have goals or too lazy to achieve them. I admit this is a shortcoming. But, I just can’t imagine being like that. I can’t imagine handouts being worthy of bragging. I can’t imagine not trying to accomplish something.
It’s NaNoWriMo. So far, it’s day 4. On day 4, I am more than half way farther than I was the entire month when I attempted this last time. I only accomplished 10,000 words 2 years ago when I failed. Today, I’m at 6,095 words. I think this is doable, and I think I can do this. I think I will do this, though I’m afraid to jinx it. I feel good about it. I’m energized by the progress, and I think the quality of the product is going to be fantastic. This also makes me incredible. I’m excited to get back into this. Writing gives me a purpose in life. Parenting is fulfilling, but my writing gives me my purpose. I feel like a broken record saying this, but it’s more than just my love of words that makes writing my purpose. It stands for so much. It stands for my sacrifice of sanity by spending all that time on campus. It stands for my belief that you set goals and you go for them. Even more than that, it practices what I preach to my son. I told him, “you can be whatever you want in this world if you want it enough and work hard for it”. The only way to show hard work and how to set goals and achieve them is by showing your child how. Otherwise, you teach your child there’s an easy way and that’s the way to go. I refuse that for my children. They deserve the best in the world, and you have to work for the best. The best isn’t given to you, and people lie to you if they tell you otherwise.
The moral of the story? Dream it, and then do it. You deserve the chance to be whatever you want to be. Find your own NaNoWriMo. Prove to yourself that you are more than the circumstances you surround yourself with. You can’t expect other people to change, you need to be the change. You can’t tell your child the world is there’s to take if you aren’t willing to take it yourself. The best part of the dream is to live it. And if you can’t live it, the dream will always be there to move towards. It’s your choice whether or not you want stagnancy or achievement. But don’t blame anyone but yourself if you don’t want to work for anything and you stay in the same situation. You have the power to move or stand still. And if you stay still in a burning building, only you’re to blame for the burns you get.