Every January, the gym fills up and annoys the usual crowd there. They’re used to finding parking and their choice of equipment. These limited run “resolutioner” that last a whole month or two disrupts this routine. Luckily I work out at home because I like the peace of exercising in solitude. The added bonus of hearing my children laughing while they get man time with their father just makes me happy.

There are a ton of blogs capitalizing on those people, giving informed tips on weight loss and lifestyle changes. Not to take anything away from people who do that out of the kindness of their hearts. I have none of that, only my own personal dealings with the struggle of weight loss and lifestyle changes. I was always skinny, until a time when I was just average thin. Then I became pregnant and saw the scale climb up to 200 lbs. At some point, I asked if I could face away from the scale because I didn’t want to see the numbers. The only advice I can give is find something you like and can stick with. Nothing else will work.

Now I am 60 lbs lighter. I didn’t do it because I didn’t love myself the way I was. I might have hated the number on the scale, but I didn’t hate myself. I didn’t do it because I wanted to make my husband happy, he loved me no matter what. I did it because I love myself and my family and I wanted to be healthy to watch them grow up and see my grandchildren. I did it because I wanted to teach my children the importance of living a healthy lifestyle of eating right and exercise. I did it to have more energy chasing my toddler around. If you want a healthier life, you need to make the necessary changes in your life to make yourself physically and mentally healthy.

There’s an important distinction here. Loving yourself as you are and changing for your health are not conflicting ideals. Lying to yourself and preaching self-love while picking yourself apart in the mirror isn’t true love of who you are. I’m not losing weight because I want to fit in some mold society has set for me as a female; those social norms were never my style. I bow down to no one. No one dictates what I look like or do. You don’t have to look like a supermodel. You can be chubby, as long as you’re healthy. Curves are average people. It’s more important than trying to look like . It’s your health. It’s more than a number on a scale or what size jeans you wear.