Tag Archives: Miscellaneous

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Trying to Do What Is Breast

I haven’t been around in a while. I have been caught up with work, specialists, and parenting and have once again neglected this. Finally, everything seems to have slowed down, in which now I can focus on other tasks on my to-do list, such as finally book editing and a side project I was given to accomplish. My hopes of my book being published this month seems to not be a likely goal, but I’m hopeful if I can just sit down and focus on it long enough without interruptions, I can do this. However, I am a mom of a toddler and a tween so that is all wishful thinking. All I can do is take it one day at a time.

Now, to the real topic at hand: boobs. Well, actually nursing in public. It is a hot topic of debate, especially in my little corner of Western Massachusetts.

I was casually reading my Facebook on Friday, as I had completed all my work and felt that I deserved a day on the couch clearing my DVR. I did clean off most of my DVR, but I also spent way too much time following a series of threads on a page that I liked because it was this amazing place that my toddler loves to play at. I love it, because it’s clean and inexpensive and it is awesome for working on his developmental delays that the specialists work with him on. Apparently they tried to institute a “nurse covered up or in a room” policy, which is illegal in Massachusetts. Okay, we like the law, so 300 comments about how she’s in the wrong and it’s illegal and blah blah, the page takes down the post and changes it to a series of “I didn’t know it was illegal, policy won’t be enacted, please be respectful” posts, to which the owner got equally attacked for.

I sat and read everything that was written. People that had never even been to this small business were giving it 1 star ratings to tank the reviews, which were pretty much all 4 or 5 stars. People posted pictures of themselves nursing, made comments about how formula fed babies should be covered up because it is offensive to see someone be a terrible parent and not nurse their child. People were vicious and cruel and completely out of line. What came out of a “please cover up” post came a torrent of unleashed rage upon anyone who disagreed with them or even said this place was a great place to visit. In fact, even today if someone comments about how it was a great place, someone comments about how it is a terrible place for not welcoming nursing moms. Only to unleash further viciousness upon anyone who dared like this place because it didn’t fit in with their values and views.

I was appalled. I was offended and angry. I was horrified. And it wasn’t the policy that made me feel this way. It was everything that happened afterward that I found so appalling. I think I saw the worst of humanity, the truth in the old adage about how women are the cruelest to one another. It pained me. Every word horrified me and made me wonder what made people so god damn high and mighty that they could belittle people based on their opinions when they are trying to prove a point about how they matter. They do matter, but so do the people that disagree with them. That’s what makes America so great: we are entitled to have our own opinions as long as they match yours.

Do I feel uncomfortable watching a woman nurse in public? Sure, I absolutely do. Does that mean that it shouldn’t be allowed? That’s what I trust our politicians to decide. I didn’t even like it when I was trying to nurse when the lactation consultant watched me. Am I a terrible mom because I couldn’t nurse as a result of my son’s inability to latch on? Absolutely not. Did I pump full-time to provide milk for my son? Yes I did. Does that make me any better than a person who chooses to use formula? Absolutely not, no more than me giving birth naturally makes me any better than someone who used an epidural or a C-section. Nursing or providing breast milk for your child does not make you the best mom in the world, just because. And if you think that, the problem is you. Moms need to stop attacking other moms, because being a mom is the hardest job in the world. As long as your child is nourished with good food, played with, taught lessons, and attended to, you are a good mom. Whether you nurse, bottle feed breast milk, use formula, buy baby food or make it, as long as you make sure your child is provided for that is all that matters. As long as you are there for your child and making sure it grows up with good role models and morals, you are doing it right. As long as your child is succeeding and you are doing everything it takes to allow success, you are a good mom. It’s when you start failing at any of those, that you are no longer a good mom. A drug addict that pawns off their kid all the time on someone else to raise is not a good mom just because she breastfeeds her child.

Then there is this video, from my local news site. I posted it on my Facebook, but I feel it does prove an excellent point here. http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgnrAiWDVZQ&app=desktop

Take note of the first mom they keep panning back to outside giving an interview. I was too busy being horrified about the state of that little 8 month old daughter she had in her arms. She discussed about how she wants to empower women in any decision they make and civil rights to nurse wherever they want. Now, for those who do not live in our area, please note that when this interview took place the wind chill was in the negative degrees. Her 8 month old daughter is outside, cheeks red from cold, without protection from the cold.

So does nursing make you a better mother than everyone else? No. Should people be attacked if they prefer to cover up when nursing? Nope. Should a mother be vilified for being unable to nurse or deciding formula is the right decision for their family? Again, I’m going to say no. Should people be vilifying a company that was trying to mistakenly please everyone and put everyone who stands behind the company on some terrorism list? No. Should we start accepting everyone’s differences and opinions because that was what our great country was founded on? I say yes, and no one should ever think they are better than anyone else just because their high horse says so.

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The Gay Agenda

I figured I would go with the “buzz word” of the time, because we all know gay people want to take over the world like the Muslims do. It will be a battle of which one will destroy America first. My money is on gay people. They are much more fierce and scary when they want to be. Trust, I would never cross any of my gay friends. Never. Ever.

Most of the introduction is entirely sarcasm, except for the not wanting to cross any of my gay friends out of their sheer fierceness. That is completely true. I want nothing to do with that wrath. More so, I am mocking the idea that gay couples wanting to get married is them trying to take over America and ruin us. Do I want to see a gay couple making out in public? Absolutely not. Before you label me as a homophobe, please read this next sentence: Nor do I want to see a straight couple going at it in public. I just don’t want to see anyone using the mall bench as a place for them to pretend it’s their mom’s couch. I want no part in that. Maybe I’m a prude. Probably. But my not wanting to see it does not mean that I think it’s any of my business what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom. If a person wants 6 bedmates at the same time while reenacting scenes from “50 Shades of Grey”, I don’t need to know nor do I think it’s anyone’s business but their own. Should there be a law against this too? I suppose in some people’s eyes, as long as the man parts stay with the woman parts as God intended, then they can do whatever they want.

With the recent discussion of the Supreme Court taking up the issue of whether or not banning gay marriage is constitutional, we can see a real change in our country. This is the same change interracial couples waited for, and now the times have changed. Because of this huge step in civil rights I am able to be married to my soul mate, who’s only crime back then would have been that his mother came from a country that wasn’t in Europe. This is the next phase of the civil rights movement, created so all people would have equal rights. I absolutely think they are going to say that it is unconstitutional. This will come at the dismay at religious zealots that feel that the bible versus are something you can pick and choose what you believe. If you are going to use the bible as your life’s laws, follow everything. Otherwise you are just a hypocrite that is spreading hate.

Over the weekend, I saw “The Imitation Game”. It was a fantastic movie, and Benedict Cumberbatch was fantastic in it. (Not that you would dare question his amazing talent… right?) I was expecting those far out there religious crazies to go off on this movie being another push for the gay agenda in America. I was shocked to see so many articles about how this movie was another ploy to further push the gay agenda in hopes to destroy America. I was even more shocked after watching the movie and saying to myself afterwards “what gay agenda?” They don’t emphasize that he is gay. They mention it maybe a few times in the movie, including that horrific ending. Not horrific as in graphic, but as in as a human being I found it morally horrific what happened to him especially after watching about all the good he accomplished. Just because he was gay, he was given a cocktail of medicine to chemically sterilize him as we would do with a pedophile just because he liked men. He wasn’t the only person to suffer as a result of this “indecency law”. I’m sure those who believe that this movie pushed a gay agenda would wish us to reinstate such a horrible law, but if that’s the case I think we should be able to lock up assholes and make them suffer horrible fates as a result of how they were born to be.

In fact, I think the movie could have done more. I understand that they wanted to focus more on his achievements rather than make the movie into a political statement. I’m actually okay with that because I don’t want to go into an overly political movie when I want to just watch something entertaining. But there was so many people who had suffered like he did, while others like Oscar Wilde decided to just go to jail. And a great man killed himself because of this cruel punishment. (Though some people speculate murder, I’m going to go with injecting cocktails of medicine into a person without knowing all the side effects probably does not help matters.) They could have at least given us the real ending instead of adding his death as a side note at the end of the movie. If nothing else, that could have made a difference but again I understand the need for the movie to be about his achievements and not his personal life.

The lessons of this post? What people do in their bedroom is not your business. Who consensual adults want to marry is not your business. Imprisoning people and doping them with medicine because they are homosexual is wrong. The Imitation Game is a great movie, and you should see it. Any comments? Feel free to share.

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Now Reporting Today’s News Yesterday

It seems that I write more posts about how the media fails the American people more often than I care to mention. It probably is one of my most frequent topics, just because the media’s job is to hold people accountable for things and to keep its people informed of facts. The media fails us constantly. They only people they hold accountable are whatever people they want to hold accountable, and have become propaganda spreading machines. What makes them any different than media in other countries that are controlled by government to spread messages? The difference is we claim “Freedom of Speech”, which in actuality gets sent to the highest bidder because it’s about ratings and sales, not information being properly distributed to keep Americans informed.

Yesterday, there was a shooting at a Boston hospital. Every article I read alternated the ending of the story. All stories agreed that it was a cardiac surgeon that was shot. Some decided that the person was in custody after the shooting, others decided that the shooter had shot himself/herself. Everyone agreed it was a senseless tragedy It was like reading a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story. (Seriously, who didn’t love those?) Eventually, I gave up trying to find out what happened and eventually forgot that I had even cared. Why? Because the media wanted to be the first to get the story out, facts be damned.

This isn’t the first time this had happened, and it won’t be the last. Another more widely known flub is what happened with the ObamaCare supreme court ruling. Remember when they announced that it was unconstitutional? People roared with excitement! People, who immediately shut off their television rather than watch the rest of the breaking news report, went straight to the internet to troll. “Socialism is dead! Long live ‘Merica!!!” “On to further our fight for access to healthcare! We won’t be stopped!!”. Had these people watched their choice of newscast, they would have realized that upon further reading of the decision, their original report had been wrong and in fact it was ruled constitutional. Instead of being concerned with facts, they wanted to be the first to report it. Another memorable moment? When media outlets started circulating pictures of the “Boston Marathon Bombers”, two Arab looking young adults. They were being labelled terrorists, when they were just guilty of being Muslim at a place where a terrorist attack took place. Instead, two boys probably just a tad less white than I were ended up being the culprits while those original people pictured ended up having their lives harmed and potentially risked as a result of the media wanting to be first rather than be accurate or even correct.

To my other point about media propaganda, I bring into evidence an actor that I really enjoy watching. I read the headline “Seth Rogen Compares ‘American Sniper’ to Nazis”. My immediate thought was “Oh Jesus. Another celebrity that put his foot in his mouth. What an idiot.” Conservative media, and other people who follow it blindly, rant on about his un-American statement. (Hilariously, discussing their right to freedom of speech, ignoring his because they don’t agree with him that American Sniper is a nazi propaganda film). One even stating that as a soldier, they had fought for his god given American right, probably not doing enough research to know that it is his god given Canadian right since he is in fact, Canadian. Back to the point. I follow him on Twitter, and I actually read his post. “American Sniper kind of reminds me of the movie that’s showing in the third act of Inglorious Basterds.” I read that over a few more times, and I didn’t understand how that goes into “AMG AMERICAN SNIPER IS NAZI PROPAGANDA!!!” I didn’t understand the outrage. Even his tweets afterward made complete sense. I didn’t understand the controversy here. I still don’t understand the controversy here. So one movie stylistically reminded him of something else? If  it weren’t for the “Deflategate” controversy, I would agree with him that this was all just a result of a slow news day.

Which leads me back to the original point. I think I have read pretty much every article about how “Belicheat” struck again. I gathered it was mostly non-news since I had also read just as many articles about how Rodgers likes an over-inflated ball or how some people like to alter the ball so it’s more worn in. I even read an article where a team had heated balls during cold games. After all that, I only got one thing out of it: Any other team would be slapped on the wrist and talked about for one day on the news. Instead, since the Patriots were already caught with their hand in the cookie jar once, they are automatically guilty forever and ever. Some say the balls were taken out during halftime, which was when the Patriots really demolished the Colts. Did it help them win? Probably not, unless a deflated ball makes defensive players see a guy with a ball running towards them and decide to make a path rather than tackle him. Is it cheating? Absolutely and they should be punished for it. Is there one news article that is a reliable source at the moment? Of course not, the news fails at their job and should all be fired for people with actual journalistic integrity because this new form of media fails at what they were supposed to be doing: keeping the masses informed.

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Sometimes the Best Intentions…

Ideas to better a person’s life is always a positive. There are individuals that need help to get a foothold in the world. The ideas aren’t the problem here: people are the problem. Ideas are awesome, but not when people start finding ways to take advantage of such ideas or that they don’t think through the ideas and they become very bad version of their intentions.

Programs like WIC and Food Stamps, and various other forms of welfare are great ideas, in principle. When I was a single mom, I worked as hard as I could at my minimum wage job for sometimes 80 hours a week and couldn’t make ends meet on my own. Programs like this were intended to help people like me, those who worked hard but needed help to support their family. Now, the program has become a shadow of what it was because there are people out there that take advantage of these programs because they don’t feel like working. There are people trying to get help on these programs that can’t, because there are people who are finding loopholes so that they can sit around and just collect free money. Which is sad, because there are people who actually need this help and can’t get it because there are dishonest people mooching from a great idea that had great intentions. See, the problem isn’t the programs but the loopholes and people taking advantage of them.

Which leads me to the new program the president wants to put into place: free community college. That’s a great idea. I went to community college so that I could get all my pre-req’s out of the way because I blew a ton of money on a private 4-year college that 6 years later I still owe $30,000 left on and that doesn’t include the year and a half that my mother paid for from her retirement plan. It’s an economical plan that many people today are using. There are professions that you can get that are decent pay from a 2 year degree. This could be a fantastic idea. Get some people, who are trying to make something of their lives and want a degree to give a better lives for their families, to school so they can get off of welfare and into the workforce. Except, I see a problem. Who is going to pay for this amazing plan? With such a high amount of national debt, the government should be focusing on fixing their budget and the debt rather than paying for education. Would it come from our taxes? So we have to pay more for a program that people might take advantage of, like with every other entitlement we have in America? How can we even guarantee that our tax money is even going to go to this program and not to add onto the pocket of our congressmen? Even more than that, will we have to pay more in state taxes as well because they want the states to foot a portion of the bill? This sounds like a great idea, that is not well thought out at all. The government has great ideas that are never thought out and end up being money drains on the American people because they can’t balance their budget like the American people have to do on a daily basis.

If you want us to stand by your ideas, we need to have a plan that we can believe in and follow. This plan on the surface sounds fantastic. When you think about it for a few days, it starts to seem like a disaster. What if it becomes a requirement for people to stay on welfare? So you’re forcing people to go to school that doesn’t want to, and it ends up being a waste of money because they don’t go to class or fail because they just want the money? (Not saying that all people on welfare are cheats, but let’s be real here: there are some.) Then the tax payers are wasting money on tuition for people who aren’t taking it seriously. Then there’s the point of: high school is free and people take it as a joke. I didn’t take it seriously, nearly flunking out of high school. Then I went to college, and I had to pay for it and I was sure the hell going to make sure that I got what I paid for. I left community college with a 3.9 GPA, and graduated my 4 year college with a 3.4 GPA. A far cry from my barely there grades in high school. Fact: people work harder when they pay for it or have something to work for. This could be another consideration when debating this topic.

I do agree college costs are out of hand. I fear for my children going to college because I don’t think we’ll be able to afford helping pay their way, unless I start selling novels or my husband runs his own IT company. Or both, at the rate the costs are going up. I keep forcing the idea of working hard and getting good grades in hopes that it sinks in and he gets scholarships. I encourage additional activities like sports and band to help the scholarship push, not to mention he needs to get whatever he can to get a leg up on the competition to even get into college. I’m not alone in this. I don’t have hope that the government can fix it, because everything they seem to touch goes to hell fast. I don’t think this is the way though, at least not at this time. Maybe when our national debt gets dropped and the government learns what a budget is. We can’t afford to put money into more new programs when we can’t even afford the ones we have now.

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The Random Mix

I get most of my best ideas first thing in the morning for my blog. Unfortunately, most of the time I forget the before I get a chance to crawl out of bed and write it down. I should learn my lesson and keep one of my handy post-it’s next to my bed, but I never do. Someday. However, until that day I will supplement with a post that is full of random thoughts.

“The Science of Suicide”: My new novel, “The Science of Suicide”, is still in this long editing process. The process has barely begun, with other more pressing matters that I am unable to ignore. My hope is that I complete the process by the end of the week, even if that means no sleep or anything but my paid work and editing this novel. It will be a long one, especially since I gave up coffee as a result of how high the sugary flavoring I love so much costs calorie wise. Without caffeine and my other responsibilities, I bet I am going to be one cranky panda this week. I do have a deadline to meet, at the end of this month to turn in my novel for a contest for free editorial services. (Which is hilarious in itself, since I need to edit it before I can enter it because I do get a free printed copy of the book.) By entering there, and doing another, I should have 3 hard copies of this book, which is exciting for me. I hope that this all comes together well, and I will keep everyone posted. Until then, I do have 3 other ebooks waiting for readers on my Amazon Author Page. You can find the link on the sidebar, entitled “To Buy My Work”. It will lead you to my page.

NFL: I’m a huge Patriots fan. Huge. So huge, that the best gift in the world came from my husband this Christmas, when he bought me a Wilfork jersey. I was elated to wear it the first time. Being a Patriots fan, or rather being any Boston fan, requires a special level of a person. They have such roller coaster years, that you really need to be a strong individual to be a true fan. Otherwise, when you watch your team fall to a 14 pt deficit twice, you might freak out a little. Then with a little magic, things come together. This makes me a little nervous for next week. Denver, by all accounts, should have walked all over Indy. But in true Manning fashion, he choked. Indy won, and will play my beloved team next week. I have faith that we will win, as long as we learn to not play like we did last week. Let’s hope, though I do enjoy a nail biter. It makes the game far more interesting, and it’s more satisfying when you walk away with the win.

Tragedy and You: No one is safe from terrorism. No one is safe from tragedy. How we rise from them is what differentiates us from the bad guys. We could become hateful, and spread generalized hateful propaganda. Or, we could stand up for ourselves and identify the real problem and fight against it. Until that point, calling everyone with tanned skin a terrorist makes us just as guilty as they are. We can’t guarantee being safe from terrorism, but we can guarantee that we will stand up and fight to the death. Our freedoms are ours to keep, not theirs to take. I won’t let someone tell me what I can say. I am not afraid, and I stand with everyone else in supporting France at this time.

Game of Thrones: Seriously? It was bad enough you didn’t even nominate Peter Dinklage, which is a sin considering his absolutely incredible acting this season. But another year where it didn’t win for “Best Drama”? Game of Thrones is a show that seems to be incredibly underrated by these award show people, and they should be ashamed. I say that more love needs to be given to the fantasy genre in the same way that the Oscars need to recognize comedies more. It’s exclusion, and I thought you guys were all about “exclusion being bad”. Fix it. Especially since The Affair beat it. Really? That’s how this was going to go. At least Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were hilarious.

Feel free to share your thoughts about anything, even if it’s to tell me that my Patriots are going down. See you Wednesday.

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Resolve to be a Better You

Before I get into my post, I would like to take a moment to comment about the attack that took place in France at the Charlie Hebdo headquarters. I loathe the idea that anyone that disagrees with your ideals, religion or politics should be shot and killed as a result. I loathe the idea that people blame a religion for their radicals and lump them all up as the same. I also loathe the idea that as a writer, I should have to censor myself out of fear that myself or my family could be killed because I write anything and someone finds it offensive. I live in a place where I have the freedom to practice my art as I want, and I will be damned if anyone tries to tell me otherwise. I will not compromise who I am or the arts that I share with the world because some crazies with guns think they have more power than they do. They are just scared and blind followers of people that take the vulnerable and manipulate them into a cause that is not Islamic at all. They are the ones with the problem, not these victims of their senseless killing. One of the artists that was killed, Stephane Charbonnier, once said “I’d prefer to die standing than live on my knees” when he was first targeted, and this is something I absolutely agree with. To all the victims and others that have suffered as a result of this act, I share my sincerest condolences.

Day 2 of my commentary on resolutions. Don’t worry, this is my last day I will dedicate to this. As I had stated previously, I don’t believe in resolutions. If I want to change something about myself, I’m going to just go and do it. How many people actually follow through with their resolutions? The answer seems to be less than 50% of people who make these promises will upkeep them. The chances of you getting a divorce are higher than you keeping your resolution. Happy New Years!

This is where companies like gyms and Weight Watchers will make their money. Eventually, people forget they are paying money for a resolution that they are not keeping and they get to sit back and just collect on your broken promise to yourself. (Doesn’t that idea really make you feel guilty now?) The reason it doesn’t work is because it requires a lifestyle change, not a couple of weeks at a half-assed attempt to do something. If it really meant that much to you, you wouldn’t need to wait for New Years to do it just so that you can fit in. I hate following trends blindly just for the sake of following them.

For instance, the social media is aflutter with this pay it forward challenge. I won’t bite, even though I know it might make me look terrible. Why? Because you should pay it forward on a daily basis and not just do it because Facebook tells you to. In fact, it seems to have a lack of sincerity to me as does anyone who needs to broadcast their good deeds for the world to see. I’ve done volunteer work, I have donated to charities, does not mean I need to act self-righteous about it and blast my Facebook to rub how awesome I am in other people’s faces. I hate the idea of people using those in need for the sake of making them look like saints. (I am not talking about those who post about causes on their Facebook for awareness, I really mean those who say “I donated blood today, what have you done?”) I don’t need that sort of validation to know that I have made a difference, and I have taught my oldest child to be modest about his feats. It is my job as a mother to brag about his activities, not him. I teach my children that it’s not who is watching the deed that matters, but the people who are benefiting from it. They should be the focus. That’s why I like those anonymous donations that appear and pay off lay-away accounts for people who need the help. They don’t care if they get credit for doing something. They are doing it because it is the right thing to do, not because it makes people think highly of them.

You should resolve to be a better you, no matter the time of year and who’s watching. It’s not about resolutions; it’s about being a decent human being all year round.

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Resolve to Social Media Better

I’m about as social media savvy as  an 80-year-old grandmother that has never even owned a computer. I take this as a lack of interpersonal skills and being otherwise socially inept, over an inability to use a computer. Even still, I know enough on how to play the game. This is more than I can say about 89% of my social media counterparts. Though, without them hilarious websites that mock these people wouldn’t exist so I suppose they have their place. That, and I have to admit that I do love watching the drama unfold, especially when work is slow.

I’m a person that is completely anti-resolutions. (This will go into more detail come Wednesday.) However, they have their purpose. These resolutions are what keeps gyms in business, because people pay for a year in January, and never go back by February. But if you’re going to go down this path of insincerity, I do have a suggestion: why not try to social media better? Here are some tips that you could follow to accomplish this:

  • Vague Posts: Let’s be honest here, we all have a few people on our friends list that says something like “never cheat a cheater” or “boys lie and make girls cry”. Nothing else… but that. Everyone jumps? Did your partner cheat on you? Is your relationship in the tank? Then people respond accordingly with concern and assumptions. Then, the original poster goes nuclear. “Why are you assuming things? I never said that.” Well, you never said anything but a vague post that could easily be interpreted as such and you gave no indication otherwise. If  you did not want those assumptions that are so infuriating to you, maybe you should have been more specific. Unless you were vague on purpose for the sake of getting attention, in which case you got your wish. If you didn’t want the attention, don’t post it.
  • Opinions are like butts, everyone has one and they all stink?: This is especially true around election times. Do not post opinions on any topic, especially those about religion or politics, if you do not want people with different opinions posting on your post. By posting your opinion, you have just given everyone who reads it the right to state theirs. If that upsets you, you know where the delete button is. Then, next time remember that and refrain from posting it. Instead, memes are a great option.
  • Dirty Laundry is for the Laundry Mat: We all get mad at our family, friends or significant others. This is a fact of life. What we do not want to do is get mad at them and post it for the world to see. Tempers might be temporary, but the internet is forever. And those hard feelings will stick. Not only that, at some age it just becomes tacky and undignified. And by some age, I mean any age that is only than “teenager”. If you are older than “teenager” and doing it, maybe you should re-evaluate your life choices.
  • Stupidity Spreads Like Wildfire: I believe it was Will Smith who said it best once, when he was asked about how he feels about his son’s presence on social media. His response was something along the lines of “Kids are stupid. They do stupid things. They have always been stupid and have always done stupid things. Just now, they have social media to be stupid on.” Paraphrasing, because I could not find an actual quote. It’s true. If social media existed when we were kids, would we have done half the stupid stuff that we did? Probably not.
  • It Takes a Big Person to be Nice: Finally, remember when your mother would say “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all?” I never listened to that, not because I’m a mean person but because I lack that filter that censors awful things from my brain from coming out of my mouth. I’m okay with this, because I do have some self-control when it comes to actually typing things out. Unfortunately, previously mentioned 89% does not have this control. This is why bullying is such an issue today. Instead of saying to a person on their Facebook or Instagram, “Wow, you’re fat. Why are you posting a bikini picture? That’s gross”. Instead, admire their courage for doing that. I’m on the skinny size, and I don’t have the self-confidence for that and I admire those who do. If you can’t find anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut. Opinions do not have to be cruel and purposefully hurtful. In fact, at that point I don’t even consider them opinions. If your mother would be appalled at you saying it, maybe it shouldn’t be said.

That about covers my list of how to social media better. However, if you have anything else to add I am all ears. See you on Wednesday for part 2 of this discussion on resolutions.

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Back to Business

I decided to go off the grid for a week or two, just to take a break. November was a difficult month, that seemed never-ending due to the piles of work I had amassed when I took on too much, on top of novel-writing. I decided that for sanity purposes, a break from writing was in order. What did I do during that time? I got everything ready for the holidays. My husband was on vacation during the holiday week, and we did what any normal couple would during this time: we finished up Christmas shopping and then went into watching movies and started a “Breaking Bad” binge, which is nearly complete. It was very calming and I am glad to get back into this as a newly refreshed me. Which is great because I feel like we’re getting into the season of “illnesses the keep passing through the house”. Welcome to parenthood, folks. So let’s play catch up!

Neil deGrasse Tyson stirred up the masses apparently with an honest (and equally entertaining) tweet. People were demanding his head for the comments he made. As someone who agreed entirely (and has stated more than once that people who insist on putting the “Christ” back into Christmas are blissfully ignorant to where the traditions for their cherished holiday comes from), I don’t think he should apologize. Here’s to freedom of speech? How come a Christian can compare abortion to concentration camps and Nazi Germany, but a person who does not share Christian views gets attacked for saying that Christmas isn’t a Christian holiday and to acknowledge an incredible scientist? I’m willing to bet that those people who were calling for an apology are the same ones saying that are freedom of speech is being attacked. If you’re going to be a blatant hypocrite, at least try and hide it better. We especially should not be faulted if what we say is based by actual fact. It’s the people that make up facts that are the enemies, not the ones who state the real ones.

The president seemed to discuss recently about how America is less racially divided now than it was before he entered into the office. He points out it only seems this way because of social media and people recording incidences on their cell phones. I agree with half of that. We’re only more aware of this because of social media. Social media, as great as it can be when used properly like sharing memes and playing Farm Heroes Saga, is in actuality the devil. I play with the devil because that’s how people in my “business” can receive publicity and a place to share their work with the world. It actually seems to perpetuate things that would be best to let die out. If the Michael Brown thing had occurred in an earlier time, people would do one protest over how outraged they are by racism and everything would be done. Instead, people make it to be a cause that they need to stand behind until no one seems to care anymore. Just like my prediction about the ALS bucket challenge, no one will even remember his name in another month. Because we are all about “outrages/causes” for the moment, and not actually concerned with things that aren’t flashing on our Twitter or Facebook at the present time. The race situation is not better than it was and by politicians and news media making it a “black vs. white” issue, it will not get any better. This also goes for those who argue “if it were a white person, no one would care”. Those statements do not make you any better than the others who feign outrage. That just puts you on the other side of the race war. We should just acknowledge that we do not know what another person has to go through on a daily basis, and not judge them for it. I don’t know what it’s like to be an impoverished minority, what would make me an authority on that topic? I have no right to go on news shows to say “the problem is…” The problem isn’t that they don’t have both parents: I was a single mother and my son is an A student that participates in band and baseball and does well at both. I have friends that are single parents, and their kids are fine. It’s an excuse, and the media lets them have that excuse by blaming their circumstances for the way they end up. Plenty of children from poverty rise to do great things. We should be asking why some succeed and others don’t instead of blanketing everybody.

Last piece of business is my new novel. I anticipate being able to have it completely edited by the end of next month. I look forward to beginning the promotion process to get the ball rolling. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I will see you on Wednesday.

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The Editing Process Drags On

They say that the most difficult part of any writing project is the editing. They are right. It can be very hard to dissect your story, and try to piece it back together so that you can increase the flow. In fact, that is the hardest part of a book especially if you are the one solely responsible for doing the process. I actually really wish that I had my own pocket editor to help me so I don’t feel like pulling out what’s left of my hair after dealing with a tween and a toddler at the end of the day. I don’t have that luxury, as I’m not signed to a publisher nor do I have the $500 to take advantage of online services that do this for you. So, I drag on wishing that it was acceptable to drink a glass of wine alone with a toddler at 10 in the morning.

The editing process is moving at an incredibly slow pace. My problem falls within a placement of a chapter, and I can’t quite figure out where it should go. Originally, the first chapter I had written as a part of NaNoWriMo was going to be placed at the end of the novel. In theory, that was going to be an incredible idea. That was in theory. In practice, however, the way I finished the novel feels complete to me. It feels right to end it that way. In rereading the novel, the chapters flow together so well, that I would hate to ruin that flow. Now I must ponder the idea of just leaving it as is, which I don’t like the idea of at all. Starting the book with that chapter does not feel right at all.

I considered just omitting the chapter and calling it a day. That consideration didn’t last long. That chapter gives the details and answers to speculation that is an important piece of the story. But what if I don’t omit the chapter, rather piece it up into mini-chapters in between? I feared that would ruin the flow of the story as well. It is going to take some time to figure a way to keep it so readers get answers without just haphazardly placing it someplace and ruin the entire novel.

I’m sure I will figure it out. I hope, anyways. I think I just need to distance myself from it for a few days and think about it as a reader, and not as the author.

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The War On…

It seems that in America, we are always in a war. There’s a war on terrorism. The war on traditional marriage. Everything is a war. “War” has become the equivalent of “-gate”. In fact, I’m actually shocked that we haven’t heard of a “War on Sodagate”. We can have a “sodagate”, but we haven’t had a “War on Sodagate”. This is depressing. Get on it, America.

Every Christmas, I am told that we have a “War on Christmas” going on. (“War on Christmasgate?” Just a thought…) I hear that as I look out my window, and I see all the Christmas lights. The apartments next to me, 60% of them have a Christmas tree lit since before Thanksgiving. A War on Christmas, as Christmas stuff takes over the aisles before I can even buy my Halloween decorations. Screw the War on Christmas, what about the War on Halloween? I want to enjoy my favorite holiday before a commercialized holiday celebrating a fat man takes over 2 months early. Screw you, Christmas. I do not want to hear “Jingle Bells” when I should be hearing “Monster Mash”. Where’s the outrage?

I could argue that the outrage doesn’t exist over Halloween, since Halloween is associated with Pagans who are obviously mistaken for Satanists, who are also mistaken for actual devil worshippers that want to cause harm on people. News flash: 90% of your traditions that you follow for Christmas, comes from the Pagans. So, I ask: can Pagans openly celebrate their Yule? Wait, we already do that by pretty much every tradition we follow as “Christians”.

The only people who are attacking Christmas are really just people who either want attention (/cough National Association of Atheists) or… want attention. Some might actually have the desire to have their City Hall recognize their religion’s celebrations that occur at the same time. I can’t say that I disagree with those people. There’s no reason that their shouldn’t be a menorah near the city’s Christmas tree, or any other symbol of some other religion as needed to make everyone in the community feel a part of the holiday spirit. We were, as America, founded on the basis of freedom of religion, not just a “Freedom to Christian”. As I remember from my youthful days wasting away in CCD, Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Christ. What follows are things like, the Golden rule. You know the, “treat others as you want to be treated” clause of Christianity?

So this holiday season, just be nice to people. Don’t mock someone’s Christmas tree because it’s sparse and yours isn’t. Mine is purposely sparse. Our tree lacks too many ornaments on account of my trouble making toddler, and has no garland because we are pretty sure that our “lively lab” would tear it off the tree or take down the tree trying. Some people might not even be able to afford a tree or ornaments and shouldn’t be judged for that. It isn’t competition of who has the nicest house or the tree crammed with the most ornaments, or even which religion should have the right to celebrate. It’s a holiday season for everyone to enjoy, so be nice to your neighbor and let them celebrate how they want to this season.