The Battle of “Shoulds”

I should be taking a nap. That’s the story of the past few days. The baby, still feeling a bit under the weather from the surgery and might be for a few more weeks, hasn’t been sleeping well. I missed Friday’s post for no other reason than “I should be taking a nap”, so I did. Today I realized I wanted to, but I really couldn’t let myself out of my own sense of obligation. The downside of working for money from home is you really sometimes can’t fight the temptation to just sleep instead of doing the work. Most days I fight it, and today I won.

With all this news over the George Zimmerman trial, I can’t help but to think that I should be writing a post about my thoughts on the matter. Since focusing my Hubpage on parenting, the blog is left to fend for itself. Usually I try to write about current events, but sometimes I can’t help but to rant about whatever I feel like ranting about on a given day. I keep fighting this battle of “shoulds”. Like, I should do some dishes and laundry while the baby is sleeping. But I chose the readers instead. Also, I choo chooo choo choose you, George Zimmerman.

One thing that bothers me is that when talking about the trial, you only hear George Zimmerman referred to as “Zimmerman” while Trayvon Martin is referred to by his first and last name. I don’t like uneven-ness. I don’t like the double standard, hell even Ted Bundy gets both his names uttered when being spoken about. And I would rather hang out with George Zimmerman than I would Ted Bundy. That’s a minor pet peeve in the whole scenario. Another thing I would like to point out, at the risk of getting readers mad at me, is that I don’t think that George Zimmerman is a racist. Do I think he’s guilty of trying to play a hero and chased after a guy he profiled as a criminal because of what he looked like? Absolutely. If I were walking down the street wearing a hoodie, I can safely say that I wouldn’t have been pursued as a criminal since my translucently pale skin would glow in the dark, giving away the fact I’m a white girl in a hoodie and we’re innocent and never do anything wrong. This isn’t about racism in America, I would even dare to say that this isn’t even about racial profiling in America. This is about a moron that wanted to be in the newspapers as the hero of the day for solving the slew of petty crime in his neighborhood. Well, at least he got his wish of being in the newspapers.

The issue at hand, unfortunately, isn’t really about someone who looks white killing an African-American child. I say really because it is a tragedy and it should be made to light that a kid died. But let’s blame the real culprit here: the law itself. This law needs to be changed, because who’s the next person that is going to get killed and have someone go “well I was just defending myself, he looked dangerous”? It’s similar to the gun debate: it’s not the guns that kill people, it’s the crazy people who are allowed to carry them that do. This law gives people a blank check to do this and walk away with their hands being clean. Next thing you know, Aaron Hernandez is going to say that “Odin Lloyd was going to kill me so I killed him in Florida and used a private jet to get the body up here. According to Stand Your Ground laws, this is perfectly acceptable!” People should be outraged that this guy got a blank check to kill someone. Maybe he should have stayed in his car. Maybe he should have followed him in his car while waiting for the police to properly handle the situation. Maybe Trayvon Martin shouldn’t have fought George Zimmerman. Maybe we should think for a moment what would happen if Trayvon Martin had killed George Zimmerman and gotten away with it because of this law. Maybe we should think about the outrage that would come out of that: “A black thug killed innocent neighborhood watchman who was trying to protect his community”. Maybe we should consider these points. This… this is the Battle of the “shoulds”.

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Why Do We Even Bother?

Every time I read the news or watch a news program, I’m guaranteed to have more questions than answers. Usually not always questions like “oh why does that even matter?” or “I don’t get what they are trying to say”. Usually they involve more of “seriously?” or “why?”. Is it a result of inadequate reporting on every news outlet? (I specify every because I want no misconceptions of what I mean, because I always point out that I think that they are all shams.) No wonder satirical news websites and television shows do so well: because we figure if we’re going to laugh at the regular news, might as well have one that is purposely trying to be funny. Or… is it that we live in a world that is so “shot to hell” that the news really is that terrible all the time.

First point, arming “rebels” or the “other guys” in Syria. (As always, I preface this commentary with I’m not a political or war genius, but these are questions the everyman/everywoman should be asking.) If there’s something we probably should have learned by now, it’s that training and arming “rebels” anywhere is a terrible idea. Why? I point out about Osama and the Soviet War in Afghanistan. Sure, we didn’t train them but we sent money and weapons to help them. And we all know that worked out well in our advantage 30 years later… oh, wait. It didn’t. It’s a hard position to be in, because there are innocent people caught in the middle of this but what would happen if we went in and fought a war? Those innocent people are really going to be harmed no matter which way this table turns. And how do we even know who the good guys are? Are there even any good guys to help? Or are we just going to flip a coin to decide which side is “less bad”.

And then there’s the IRS thing. As if there’s not enough actual problems with them, now they need to make more scandals up? I saw a news report about how the IRS are getting semi-automatic guns and being trained how to use them. “That’s a terrible idea” it was said. “Why do we want an organization that’s targeting the conservatives to have weapons? Oh, they keep having accidents with those weapons. I don’t get it.” I don’t get it either. It’s okay an everyday person to have any gun they want without training, but let’s not give a gun to a Federal Employee and train them so they don’t do something stupid with it. Have you seen how some people react when they get their taxes done? I’d want a gun if I were an accountant or IRS agent. Let’s stick to what they actually did wrong and get them on that. You really don’t need to make something up to make it known they did a terrible thing. Maybe next we shouldn’t allow a President to have a gun because “why does he need one?” Though, I suppose with there still being people out there who thing Obama is a sleeper terrorist, they probably don’t want him to have a gun either. Welcome to America, where they will fight for Gun Rights for everyone because it’s a constitutional right,  but not the IRS.

On a final note, I would like to thank the Supreme Court for announcing that a big company cannot patent my highly sought after ginger/alcoholic genes. I know, it’s a heartbreak to everyone that wanted access to my awesomeness. It’s really more of a surprise that the Supreme Court had to rule on whether or not my genetic makeup could be used by a big company to profit from while I get nothing but “stabby stabbies” by doctors for an obscene amount of money. Really? What next, they can take my eggs and patent them. Oh, I know… they can make me take an ultrasound on my own dime for a medical procedure they have no business being involved in to begin with… oh.. wait.

Happy Friday Readers, and enjoy your weekend. And make sure you get the men in your life a videogame or some other gadget to make them happy for Father’s Day, they really hate ties.

Why GameStop, Why?!

I’m a gamer. My son and husband are too. Needless to say, we buy a new videogame at least every few weeks. These purchases are mostly from Steam, but Steam doesn’t sell console games so we do eventually end up at GameStop since it’s right down the street. This is always an agonizing trip for me. Not only is there always an obscenely long line with people working that act like we inconvenience them for us wanting to purchase a game at their store. Oh no, I expect you to work since I pay your company an obscene amount of money for a game. It’s not bad enough I always end up in line behind two overweight people who obviously don’t know what deodorant is. It’s not bad enough that you would rather sit around doing nothing instead of dealing with customers. I’m sorry you have a job and people expect you to do it.

My gripe isn’t just with the very poor customer service you often get in those stores. The other issue is their love of “preorders”. I’m sorry, I didn’t preorder that game since if I felt like driving an extra 10 minutes I could just go to Best Buy and get the game I want because they actually care enough about getting money that they get extras for those who don’t feel like preordering a game. It wouldn’t be so bad if there was more than one person working at a store and you didn’t have to wait 20 minutes in line behind a guy that smelled like his last shower was 2 years ago only to be told “sorry, preorders only”. I quit, and I refuse to go back and I wish more people would do the same because too many companies think they can treat customers however they want.

Maybe I’m spoiled by Steam and Origin. (Also, a big “screw you” to GameStop, turns out I could just buy the game on the DS with Nintendo points and instantly download it.) I hope this becomes as popular on consoles so we never have to suffer midnight releases or rude customer service or disgustingly smelling clientele. You would think with a business model that’s dying, they’d fight a little harder for their customers. Instead, they can act how they want. I’m going to only buy my games in the comforts of my home in my pajamas and wake up to a predownloaded game instead of worrying about running out to get it. I’d like to thank Steam for making this possible for us and really loving us gamers. /endGameStopsucksrant.

Yes I Graduated High School… Wait…

I remember skating through high school, doing barely enough to get by mostly to just get out of there. I had grand dreams that real life had to be better than that shallow existence we lived out inside those oppressively painted brick walls. I believed that in the real world, merits and hard work would get you far and having a decent enough personality to not be a sociopath was enough. I thought that people stopped judging you for silly things and fitting in would be so much easier. I told myself that being an individual and your own person wouldn’t matter; people didn’t want cookie cutter people in the real world. That was all high school worries that I didn’t need to concern myself with now. Soon, I realized how incredibly wrong and naive I was…

In my job, I worked hard and excelled. I was on good terms with the owners and the General Manager of the hotel, and I was well-liked by them. I always went above and beyond what was asked of me in hopes that I would climb up this ladder into a better position with better pay. I worked up from being a waitress to the front desk, which was a big leap for that establishment. After being promised my first promotion into head of the banquet wait staff, I was excited. I pulled extra hours doing my job while training for the promotion. Until I ended up not getting the promotion suspiciously around the same time I ended up finding out I was pregnant. Fear not, I was assured. Work hard, and you’ll work your way up in no time. Then the reality hit. It wasn’t how hard I worked, it was how friendly I was with the new Banquet head. And by “friendly”, I mean willing to be “more than friends”. I had witnessed the popular “pretty” girls flirt their way up, getting more hours and better pay. I realized that, much like in high school, who you associate with will benefit you.

When I went to college, I again hoped that college was different from high school. Again, I realized that since I didn’t have a fancy car or trust-fund or that I was there to actually learn something and get a degree, I was a little bit of a loner. Having a child meant I didn’t do the “party in the dorm” scene or that I wanted to be to class on-time with work done was something worthy of being laughed at. I found it to be karma though, I remember laughing and mocking those people too. Hard work didn’t pay off too much there, but I did get my degree and I was damned proud of myself. Screw you, high school. I’ve won.

Only, I haven’t won. Even as a stay at home mom, I still have to deal with these “high school” politics. The various parents cluster together, choosing their children’s friends based on how interesting the parents seem. I stood at the bus stop waiting for my son, as a circle of the “other” neighborhood moms sat around talking and laughing. At baseball practice, you see various “clusters” of the parents. You have the bullies sitting on the bleachers. The coaches’ wives sitting together laughing and talking. You have the one parent that floats around to all the groups to try to fit in someplace. I, like in high school, stayed on my own side of the world until approached. Luckily, my son is well liked by nearly everyone on the team, so some of the mom’s gravitate to me because my child is an “ideal choice” for their child’s friend.

There’s not much I can say other than high school really does prepare you for real life. The real world has the same social politics as the ones in high school. The cliques are the same, and if you don’t fit into a mold, you’re going to end up running around in circles. Whether you work, or stay at home, you’re still stuck in this world of popularity rules all. It’s dealing with it, and realizing that you’re grown up now that’s the hard part. And trying to get by, since there’s no summer school in the real world.

Friday Has Come

Sometimes I struggle with what to write about at the end of the week. By Friday, I feel like I address whatever needs to be addressed. I don’t get a case of the “Mondays”, I get a case of the “Fridays”. The week drains me, and by Friday I do want to toss aside my writing to take a day off. Most Fridays I have simply run out of things to write about, so I don’t bother. I want to break myself of this habit. I do consider my writing as a job, one that pays poorly, but is that different from many other people out there?

The only thing newsworthy today is the hearings on the IRS. Shocker: a government agency filled with corruption and biased politics. I’ll remember to be surprised. It is a filthy day in the world when the already most hated agency in America because one of the most illegally corrupt ones. Well done, IRS, for showing us the hated can become more hated. It proves to you with hope and bad intentions, anything is possible. Also, I learned there are way too many people sitting there “trying” the IRS officials and they spend too much time talking about random and useless things that don’t really seem to matter or help find out what’s wrong. Maybe cut the committee actually asking the questions in half, and make them actually ask questions would help. Or at least make things less boring and move them along quicker.

My Hubpage is doing well, I think anyways. I don’t know if being featured on there is impressive or not, but it does help my ego and inspire me to work harder in all my writing. The idea of someone moderating my work and decided if it’s worthy or not helps my self-esteem by marking their approval on my writing. I hope this continues and helps me continue on my creative streak. You should check out my Hubpage by using the sidebar link. It’s dedicated solely to parenting, and for those who love my Dylan stories, there’s a nice one about him and his Relay for Life walk.  Also, check out my Kindle Author Page to buy my novella since you’re already looking at the sidebar.

I hope everyone has a nice Friday, and I hope you have a great weekend.

Random Musings From BooBoos to Another Plan

The best thing about weekends aren’t just the family time with my boys that I enjoy. It’s getting to sit around and listen to the current events so on Monday, I can run a nice commentary on. From the incredibly joy of headlines, and face-palming at others, Mondays are a day when I can share them with you. I admit, some of my comments today will be silly and childish, but sometimes things bring that out in me.

1) Not the Biebs! I have a soft spot for reading celebrity news. Sometimes you  just need the mindless crap those type of stories come across. Imagine my squealing with glee when I read the headline “Bieber was attacked!” I know, that might make me sound like a horrible person. I decided to stop making Bieber jokes a while back, after a Jimmy Fund girl had been treated very kindly by him. I changed my mind not too long after, deciding that based on actions and the way he presented himself, that a kind act can be forgotten if you’re a spoiled rotten and entitled brat. So seeing that he was attacked delighted me in such a way, until I discovered that he was merely poked or something similarly painless. I don’t want the kid dead, but I certainly think anyone who behaves as he allegedly behaves, could benefit from a little rough up. It builds character.

2) How about a “Plan C”? In the middle of crisis, we sure know how to put things in perspective and get our priorities straight. They have recently made Plan B accessible by 15-year-old girls. People are opposed this because “abortion is wrong” and “15-year-olds shouldn’t have sex anyways”. Let’s ignore the facts that “Plan B isn’t an abortion drug” or “15-year-olds are having sex anyways”. Or that so many people are morally outraged they teach sex-ed in schools or tried to make condoms accessible in the nurse’s office or hand them out to students. How’s teaching abstinence only working out? Oh right, it’s not otherwise 15-year-old girls wouldn’t need Plan B. Maybe we should consider educating our children properly so maybe we can reduce the amounts of “oops”, and there wouldn’t be as much of a need to make this medication accessible to kids.

3) World’s Most Eligible Bachlorette is no more. I tried to watch Honey Boo Boo once and I’m going to be completely honest here: I wanted to bash my head against a wall repeatedly in hopes that it’d dumb me down so much that I would understand what was going on. When I saw on the news that her mother got married, all I could think of was “really, that’s news? A dumb redneck married another dumb redneck, but it’s ok because they exploit their daughter and profit from it so this whole thing is newsworthy?” Sure, I detest her because her family is full of white trash you think really only exists in crappy movies and that’s how they are edited on television. Maybe they have some sort of intelligence, realizing that people enjoy watching stupid people do stupid things.

The Next Project

My focus has suddenly come back. With the little one coming into an age where he actually enjoys naps I can finally focus back on my writing. I’m finally back into a groove with my blogging here, and I’m starting a nice groove on my Hubs. This is important to me, because it’s encouraging me to find my way back to my goals. I needed to refocus, I needed to set up goals to hit to force me back into my projects. My head has already started writing a new project, and trying to finish the next 3 done.

My next project, which I know I’ve promised already, is essentially done. It’s an anthology of short stories and poetry. Most of the poetry was written in high school, and though there’s something awful about them in quality, there’s a sort of purity in the rawness of it. I feel that poetry is something written from the heart and soul, and to do anything to edit that (no matter how awful) seems to ruin its integrity. That part makes the anthology easy in the editing department. The rest of the story anthology is another story.

It’ll be done, I’ll dedicate the rest of my weekend to it. It’ll be up, and my husband has volunteered to do the cover art this time. I wondered if he offered because he’s awesome, or because I asked him to help me with my blog and Hubs by getting him the camera of his dreams to be my personal freelance photographer. He can add that title to his “read to tell me if it sucks” one that he does for free. Well not for free, it costs me in time making sandwiches and coffees. But for more free than getting an editor or publishing company to do the jobs for me.

With any luck, I can add my second book onto my Kindle e-publishing author page. Which you should check out and maybe even buy my first publishing while you’re there, the link is on the side bar. At $0.99, it’s cheaper than a candy bar or a bag of chips. And if you enjoy an off color sense of humor, you might enjoy it. I’ll keep you guys posted when it gets put up for sale. I also apologize for the boring blog post, but I felt like sharing this for people who are also writers who understand the long process this finishing projects entail. Also, check out my Hub page, which also has a link to the side. Bookmark it, because I post there Tuesdays and Thursdays.