I took my son to the dentist for his regular teeth cleaning. The very nice hygienist sat there and spoke to him about the usual stuff. They had music playing, to which my son started dancing in his chair while the cleaning was going on. I stood there and thought about every time I’ve been to the dentist. I wondered, why do they ask you questions that aren’t ones you can nod or shake your head at? I know they aren’t dumb enough to think that while your mouth is wide open, filled with assorted dental tools and gauze, that you can properly converse with them. So why do they do it?
I think it’s all a cruel joke. They’re mocking you, showing power over you. “What do you think of Miley Cyrus? Oh I love this song, and I think you do too, so I’ll just turn it up a little for you!” If I were a dentist, I would do this and torture my patients with ‘NSYNC or Spice Girls or something else. I would tell them all about my terrible day and save money on therapy by venting to my patients. They can’t speak back to me, and I could speak in a low enough tone where they can’t hear over all the loud tools I’m using. Imagine that?
I wonder if doctors do this as well when you’re having surgery. I bet they talk about all sorts of sordid things while you’re unconscious. I wonder if they do silly dances or sing like their in the shower. Actually, I don’t want to this about this at all. My son had surgery, and I’d like to lie to myself and think they focused solely on him and not what they’re going to order for lunch later or which nurse is having an affair with which doctor. Hopefully also, the doctor in question wasn’t his surgeon so he won’t be distracted with that.
Maybe I shouldn’t wonder about things like that. I’ll just settle this and say that doctors are angels in the operating room, and that dentists talk to you to make you feel calmer. Maybe there isn’t anything sadistic behind the dentist conversing with you when you can’t converse back because they want you to feel welcome and safe, which is probably smart considering how many people are terrified of the dentists. Or maybe I’ll stick to my original idea and settle for that dentists are sadistic crazy people. That sounds like a plan.