The Church of Bacon

The Church of Bacon

In glazing over the entertainment news, I saw giant headlines announcing that the Duggar family miscarried their 20th baby. My personal feelings on their ideals escaped me; no one should go through that. It did start my odd thought processes of religion, and though I promised myself I wouldn’t write about religion again I couldn’t help it. I will always write about what’s on my mind. The family started their baby machine after they felt their first miscarriage was a sign from God that they were wrong to use birth control. This isn’t the point of my post, but it’s a great introduction. Okay, in rereading it perhaps it’s more mediocre than great but bear with me.

What I mean to discuss is I keep hearing religious people pointing out how “infallible” God is. Ok, as you’ve seen already I’m uncertain how I even stand on the idea of a God. But, for a second let’s pretend my many years of CCD has stuck and I’m a firm believer. Now with this idea of an infallible God, that would lead me to think that he wouldn’t make any mistakes logically. So to take that one step further, that means everyone was made different for a reason. That means different religions and sexual orientations doesn’t make a person a mistake, so therefore shouldn’t be treated as lesser people. Gay marriage shouldn’t be “anti-God”, because God made gay people and we all know by this logic that God is never wrong. All those wars fought for religion may seem pointless, because God created different religions for his people to practice, and of course God is infallible. Right? Sure, you could argue that it’s not God’s mistake, it’s human error. But didn’t he make us in his image?

It’s no wonder I gave up on organized religion, it doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand how you can tell me that this person is evil for this reason and this person is good for that reason and then tell me we were born the way God intended, but then tell me I’m different therefore I’m a mistake. It makes me want to drink all their wine to try to understand the thought process ahead of mass, because I wonder if you have to be drunk to understand it. You know who lets you drink in the afterlife?

That’s a group worth standing behind: the Norse. Let’s die and go to a tavern-like banquet hall when you die? Oh yeah, I think I choose you. Throw in all the bacon I can eat guilt free, and I’ll love you more than you know. Bacon and beer, that’s worth fighting for. Plus, if Thor looks anything like he did in the movie that’d be an extra bonus. Maybe I should be more realistic. If I created a Church of Bacon, where you could be whatever you wanted to be as long as you kept us with bacon. Get enough of a mob mentality and anyone can start a religion or a religious movement.

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