I slept. Oh I slept right through the crazy lines and supposed sales. I slept and it felt damn good in my nice heated bed while my husband also snored away. I regret nothing, and I laugh at the idea that other people were awake in the cold while I slept oh so well. Did I mention it felt damn good?

I hate the mall. I think I’d hate the mall much more at 1 a.m. with a bunch of savings crazy nut jobs run around as if they own the world because they were too stupid to spend the time sleeping. No wonder they act as manic as they do, the idea of forgoing one of life’s more precious resources with the idea of saving $10 on a present their kid will love the box more than the gift. It’s worse this time of year, because normally you can time it to avoid masses to get what you need done without an idiot running you down. Oh and the kids! You deserve the look of shame I know I’m not the only one giving you, with allowing your kid to run around unattended. I also laugh when they realize their kid made it halfway across the mall without you even realizing it. Yes, I laugh. You deserve it; teach them to act properly in public.

I don’t feel the need to run out to the mall on Black Friday. Thanks to Steam, Slickdeals.net, and Amazon, I can avoid any rush or need to give up sleep to save money. I especially love slickdeals.net and Steam, with a special love of Steam and their daily sales on video games. Do I want to buy this awesome game for 50%-75% off? I sure do, Valve. Thank you.

Best of all? I don’t have to worry about buying gifts at the mall. The extra bonus is… I get to sleep. I get to sleep a very long time and wake up and post bragging about how I slept right through the sales and will probably end up better off than the people who gave up sleep and time with their family. Bragging doesn’t cover it; I’m gloating while very well rested. And I got Spyro’s Skylanders Start Pack for $39 with free shipping, while the store listed it for $69.99 before taxes. Oh yes, I did win.