Family, pt. 1: “Please Tell me I’m Adopted”

This is a first part in a 2 part blog. This is my comical entry into a more serious one tomorrow. Enjoy.

How many times have you said that statement during a family dinner or any family gathering? Ok, so your family probably isn’t the Cleavers, but maybe on more than one occasion you have almost dreamt of using one on any one of them at any given moment. Perhaps that is a bit extreme, but certainly we an all relate to mocking those picturesque families saying “not in this lifetime”.

For many “normal” families, we relate better to those sitcoms with outrageous families. I know I look at a nephew of mine wondering if he was the real-life Stewie. Yes, I have compared my family to a cartoon, if you met him I assure you that you would feel the same way. Many students on campus probably have the same realization of their families, and appreciate the well deserved vacation living in their dorms as opposed to being at home.

When I first moved out, the near silence killed me. Naturally I refused to call home and admit I missed them, but I’m sure someplace deep inside I did. At least I can comfort myself by saying it anyways. Soon, I realized I would end up back home, and realized that maybe the “missing” I felt was more dread of being a 40-year-old living in my parent’s basement. At least I could look around and remember that I was given a sense of humor for a reason, and that this was just a latest addition to a series of obviously hysterical jokes.

However, how boring is life away from that dysfunction you hate to admit that is your family. Admit it, you miss the 40-year-old brother that moved back home again and left, or the brother that reminds you of Chris Griffin. That lovable bunch of crazies makes you pray that you are in fact adopted, but also makes you feel normal. Besides, we can always take comfort in the fact that there is always a family more bizarre than your own. *gasp* If not, you can always pop on your headset and blast your choice MP3 player and imagine yourself far away or in a really weird dream you are bound to wake up from eventually.

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