It’s All About the Bathrooms

There is a hot topic that revolves around bathrooms. No, it has nothing to do with which preference you have when it comes to how you put the toilet paper on the roll or the age-long argument about placing a new roll of toilet paper rather than just putting it on the empty one. First off all, in my house my husband has a preference whereas I just put the roll on any way I feel like because it doesn’t matter (scandalous). Secondly, my husband knows better and will put the nearly empty roll on top of the new one that he just put on the roll. There is no debate about this in our household.

The bathroom controversy that I am speaking about is where transgender people are concerned. Some people feel as though for the safety of everyone, people must use the bathroom according to their birth gender. So a transgender female in a dress using a urinal is not going to cause any problems, such as slurs and potential assaults in the bathroom. However, that same person in the ladies room would be likely to abuse a female child easier with lax rules on this topic? Do I get the argument?

If someone wants to assault a child in a bathroom, they already do it. Strict laws prohibiting people who are not “born female” are not going to stop it from happening. It’s really the same logic that is applied to gun control. Why should there be any gun control if the person is going to find another way to obtain the gun to cause harm? The fact is that there are some bad people out there and they are going to do what they want regardless of any laws out there. (Spoiler alert: I’m pretty sure there are laws that prohibit anyone from sexually assaulting another person.) That is a sad reality of the world we live in. Bad people are just going to do bad things and laws do not prevent this. Stricter punishments do. Though we all know how harshly rapists are punished: 2 months probation and gets to go to the college of their dreams without their lives being destroyed as they destroyed their victims lives.

I have a great idea. How about we make transgender bathrooms that are both separate but equal to the “normal people” bathrooms? That has worked out so well for us in the past, why wouldn’t it work now? (Since sarcasm doesn’t always translate well in text, I will clearly state that this statement was dripping in sarcasm.) You are not going to know if a transgender person is in the stall next to you. They just want to go to the bathroom, hopefully wash their hands, and leave just like you do. They are not stalking you in the bathroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. If someone is, they are a sexual predator and they should be arrested. For instance, Ben Roethlisberger was accused of sexually assaulting a woman in the ladies room and he is not a transgender female. If you want a scary fact, look at the high numbers of the transgender community that have been sexually assaulted (and even murdered afterwards). Again, bad people are just going to do bad things.

The transgender community is the new minority that people need to fight for. People do not understand this community and let’s face it: people are afraid of things that they don’t understand. I cannot stand by and watch a community of people have to struggle for the basic freedoms that everyone else has. Did we not learn anything from the Civil Rights movements of the 50’s and 60’s? Why do we always have to fight for these things? I am a proud ally and others should stand up for those who can’t. We cannot let an entire community struggle with the rights that they were born with as an American citizen and to allow that to happen is truly wrong. Everyone had to deal with this struggle in their history, so we should know better by now.

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Transitions

I have contemplated whether I wanted to weigh in on this big topic of Caitlyn Jenner and her big reveal. After much thought, I decided that I wanted to share my potentially controversial thoughts on this topic. Before you are quick to hate me based on this introduction, I suggest a careful reading of my actual thoughts.

I truly applaud her for taking this journey. Struggling with such an unimaginable feeling of not feeling like yourself in your own skin is bad enough;  doing it in front of the whole world for this judgment is 1000x worse. People are blaming him for being part of a trend that is ruining America, helping break down the moral fiber of a great country and being a part of some fallacy set to further an agenda. Obviously a person is born as they were intended by God, and God makes no mistakes… right?

The true ruin of the moral fiber of America is this spread of hate and nonacceptance of people for who they truly are. Beliefs are no excuse for hate. The KKK is a group that believed they were being great Christians and promoting how white people are superior and everyone else should be enslaved or killed. Does that make them not hateful people because they use religion as a defense for their ignorance? People are born gay, not turned that way because they saw a gay couple kiss and somehow caught a disease that makes them gay and needs to be cured of it. Sometimes God does make mistakes, and modern science can help fix them, like putting people in the wrong body that doesn’t match who they are. People should do whatever it takes in order to feel better about themselves. A transgendered person transitioning into the person they feel the need to be should be encouraged to do what they feel they need to. Who are we to judge? Their decisions do not affect my life, why should it affect yours?

My problem isn’t in what she did. I think it requires a great amount of bravery to come forward, especially in the hateful world we are unfortunately living in. My issue is in the how. Everyone knew what was going on, yet she chose to sell it to the highest bidder. She discussed about how she wasn’t going to publicly identify as a woman yet in said interview. Great, she should move at her own pace. Except a couple months later, she then sells her new look and big reveal to the highest bidder. Do I have a problem with someone doing something publicly flaunting this? No. Anything to raise awareness for such an important topic is a positive. Should she be laughing to the bank, adding to her millions for it? That I take issue with. If you are going to thrust yourself out there and make yourself the face of a cause, you should step up and be more than just a glorified spokesperson and do something to help the cause.

I would have less of an issue if that money, even part of it was put into or started a fund to help the transgendered youth that are disowned and tossed out on the streets because they aren’t as fortunate to have a loving and supportive family by giving them a safe place to live. If the money was used for a fund for people who can’t afford to have such a life altering ability to transition, to have the luxury to do so. Instead, it was used to make a rich person richer.

If one of my sons felt they wanted to wear nail polish or a “girlie” outfit to school, would I consider it? Why not? If it’s just a phase, then what’s the harm. If it’s more than that and it’s truly who they are, then they’ll know that I love and support them no matter what. Because I choose to teach my children acceptance and love and not hate.