Just a Girl’s Opinion on Question 3

I don’t like to get too political here. Why? Because I have enough stress in my life, I don’t need randos on the internet telling me what I think and why I’m wrong in an aggressive manner. If people were more polite, engaging in thought-provoking discourse rather than slinging whatever awful words first pour from their mouths, I’d consider it. Sure, I broadly discuss things without the intention of convincing people to think like me. I don’t voter-information-2018want people to think like me. I want people think. For themselves. Without caring about what other people think.

Today may be the day that I change that. Yesterday, we received our election year booklet of information: the Massachusetts Information for Voters booklet. The one that discusses what’s going to be on the ballot and the for and against arguments for each question. While I keep debating whether or not I’m going to do a series on these with my opinions (OPINIONS, not facts. These are 2 very different concepts.), I had to say something about Question 3:   A subject that I feel very passionately about and will stand up for every single time.

To brief people who may not be aware of it, Question 3 addresses Transgender Discrimination (rather, Anti-Discrimination). Unlike most questions, something that I think was made to confuse voters purposefully to deceive them, a “Yes” vote actually leaves the current law alone. The “No” vote undoes a very important piece of this law: prohibiting discrimination against Transgender individuals. In short: If you feel as though people should use the bathroom for the gender they identify as, then you want to vote “Yes”. If not, you want to vote “No”.

I know how I very clearly stand on this topic, so I could have utterly convinced someone who doesn’t agree with me to vote a certain way through misleading text. Instead, I clearly expressed that “Yes” keeps the bill as is, while “No” repeals this anti-discrimination section. See? I did it again.

If you have followed my blog, you know how I stand on the issue. (See: It’s All About the Bathrooms) I’m very much pro-itsnoneofmydamnbusiness. If no one is getting hurt and it doesn’t have any effect on me, I really don’t even think about it. Am I pro-life? Absolutely. Would I get an abortion? Not a chance because it’s not something that I could do unless there was some very extreme circumstance. Will I judge someone who does? Absolutely not. It’s not my business. I support the right to choose because I thought that being American, you had freedoms or something.

mvimg_20181002_075413I bring this up because I did the responsible thing. I read the booklet. I read the laws in great detail. I closely read the for and against arguments to help. I have never, ever had the reaction that I did when I read the “Against” argument for Question 3. Yes, I have included it here. I was incredulous. Stunned. Normally the arguments are articulate, straightforward about facts. This was hate and fear mongering. The “In Favor” argument was dripping in sarcasm, saying phrases that I would have used like “Sexual assault is already illegal”, “lets transgender people use the bathroom, which we all need to use”. I’m in complete awe over this “Against”. Complete. What does waxing have to do with using a bathroom? If a person doesn’t feel comfortable waxing a body part on another person, that’s their choice. See, freedoms. I don’t understand what that has to do with a trans woman sitting in a stall, doing their business while minding their own business.

First of all, I’m pretty sure a sex offender doesn’t care about things like “laws”. Otherwise, they probably wouldn’t be on a sex offender list. Unless they weren’t caught. Unfortunately, there are no “sex offender” only bathrooms. They do know that men/women can sexually assault people of the same gender, right? So this law wouldn’t affect that. In fact, had an incident happened where a trans woman assaulted another woman in the bathroom, I’m sure it would have gone national as a way to show just how dangerous transgender people who need to pee really are.

I have made this argument before. Should there be “LGBT” bathrooms, ones that are separate but equal? That is something that has worked very well in the past and I’m sure we should seriously consider this. (Total sarcasm, in case you didn’t get that.) Obviously all transgender women are into women since men can only be into women, so this is a very serious issue. Since that’s the case, maybe lesbian women shouldn’t be in the bathrooms with straight women either because who knows what’s going to happen. They may share… lipstick. The horror! Can you catch trans like you can catch gay, through touch or a fabulous shade of red lipstick?

I will fight for people to live their lives in a peaceful manner every time. I fully support the LGBT community. I fully support my friends and family within it. I’m voting “Yes” on Question 3. I don’t care how you vote; I just want you to be aware of facts not someone telling you scary (and ridiculous) stories for the intention of deceiving you based on their own personal bias.


The Results are In

I’m mostly happy with the way the election went yesterday. My new voting spot, which was much farther than I think a voting spot should be from their people, was much nicer than I anticipated considering the awful neighborhood it was in. They had free coffee and soup. Because of our impish little love, voting was quite difficult and needed a tag team process. And my husband forgot to take advantage of the free coffee he was so excited about.

It was a good sign that the people seemed to rise against the same old, and voted a different way. I’m not sure if it’s a good or bad thing that the Republicans have taken control of the house, but I knew it was coming if people were smart enough. That sent a sign of “do your damn job or get voted out”, and it was a sting that our politicians need to feel. I called it previously in another post about how the Republicans would gain control of both houses, and it was no one’s fault but the Democrats for sitting around with their thumbs up there butts. It’s a chance that will influence the next election in epic fashion, I predict that. If the Republicans do something good, balance the budget and make true reforms into how things are done, than the presidency will go to a Republican because they had fixed everything that was broken. They have a chance to remedy the past here.

However, I’m not hopeful for that. All over the news they decided this was a sign to repeal Obamacare. Really? That ship is floating just fine, and the world has not collapsed as a result of it existing. That is the least of the problems that needs to be fixed. The absolute least of our problems. Plus unless my math and understanding of the whole process is incorrect, even if they vote to repeal it, the president can still veto it and they don’t have a 2/3rd’s majority to overrule the president. So if I am correct, they will still be doing a whole lot of nothing by making their first priority as repealing Obamacare. Excellent message guys. You were voted in to start getting stuff done and your first order of business is to get absolutely nothing done. This is why people hate politicians.

Go forth, newly Republican Washington and make an actual difference. Prove us wrong that all politicians are crooks that waver to the highest bidder and do nothing but collect our tax payer money and lobbyist hand outs to line their pockets. Reduce wasteful government spending on useless things, stop focusing on social issues that are settling themselves by people’s choice and balance a budget. Fix the broken welfare and other entitlements systems. Focus on that, not impossible tasks that aren’t actually that bad to begin with. Massachusetts complained about Romneycare and adjusted and things are going pretty well for us, and I don’t here too many complaints about Obamacare anymore. Deal with it, and fix Washington.

Crime, Police and Little League

I debated long and hard with myself and my greatest critic/business partner/business manager/husband over doing this post. I was emphatically against the post he wanted me to do, but he did have a point that ignoring anything that could help people or inspire change and a call to action would be a disservice to my readers. I waited a few days to really stew on this and decide the best way to approach it. I ultimately decided that I did need to bring this up because there are a few issues that occurred that I really could not ignore.

I’m an avid goer to my oldest son’s baseball games. I get into it, which surprises me because I hate watching the sport and find it boring. But sure enough, when my son is out on short stop I jump high and clap hard with pride. Maybe it’s just because it’s my son and it’s my job to be entirely enthralled and supportive. The coach is fantastic with the kids and that’s hard to find in this overly competitive world. He’s not afraid to stand up for his kids if he feels like they were wronged, which is a great comfort to us parents to leave our children in our care. He shows a passion for the game that rubs off on the kids.

Last Saturday, we arrived at the field in Holyoke (which is the next town over) and found watched the 4 coaches playing with the team. To our eventual shock, we discovered two of them weren’t coaches; they were our umpires hanging out with the other team. Our coach greeted them and received a “we’re not going to have a problem with Chicopee today, are we?” We shrugged it off until pitches proceeded to go over our teams head and calling them strikes, to which we all thought and the coached expressed this thought, that if you are going to be so blatant in handing the game to the other team that it’s completely disrespectful to the game and our kids. In response to this, the ump exchanged some unkind words and then go ahead to toss our coach. Our coach stayed at the parking lot to watch the game and his son. To which he received a greeting from the police which the ump had called on him for “physical threats” which never happened.

Throughout this whole ordeal, even as we expressed that it was a fabrication, we kept getting the same answer: “We take whoever called first word”. This was where I immediately became enraged. If I wasn’t solely responsible for staying home with the kids, I had a list of questions to ask these police officers. “So, you’re a cop in #88 of the 100 most dangerous cities in America and you’re wasting your time on a little league coach who drove his wife and kid to the game and can’t just abandon them?” “So gang bangers and wife beaters are okay to walk the street, but calling bs when he sees it is an arrestable offense?” My final question and probably the most important one: “a man beats his partner bloodied and near death but she gives him a black eye. He calls the cops saying his partner hit him. The cops arrive and see his black eye and her unconscious and bleeding. Will she be hauled off in hand cuffs because he called first?” The cops looked angry that their donut run was interrupted and seemed arrest happy, threatening to haul in the coach and another mom for trying to reason with them. It was a ridiculously embarrassing debacle for them. By them, I mean “the City of Holyoke”. It showed me that the police in that city is useless, which is apparent because it is #88 of 100 dangerous cities in “all” of America. It also showed that those umpires are paid by the Parks and Recreation department to hand games to their teams, not saying that they intend it but they certainly don’t seem to care to stop it.

Our coach being punished would be a joke. If he does, on the grounds of “zero tolerance”, then shouldn’t that umpire be punished for his much longer list off offenses? I knew the city was crooked, which is why I avoid it at all costs. But if you’re going to be so consumed by apathetic corruption, could you at least pretend that you’re not watching drug deals go down without caring or not threatening a coach for informing an umpire of rules he should already know before taking the field? And the “whoever called first” rule is just an excuse for laziness and probably the number one reason your city is so dangerous. Just sayin’.

Leave the Remdawg Alone

Normally I don’t discuss Massachusetts only topics here, nor do I really discuss sports here. I felt the need to discuss the situation with Jeremy Remy that’s a hot button issue in this dubbed “Red Sox Nation” on whether he should continue his job calling the Sox games while his son is on trial for brutally murdering the mother of his child. It seems to be a divider among viewers and is taking away focus from what should be a discussion on Opening Day or whether or not the Sox will be the first team in  about 13 years to repeat a World Series win.

Before the season, Remy admits to enabling his troubled son in efforts to help him. He agreed that maybe he went too far, but what was he supposed to do. Normally I agree that enablers are as guilty for a situation as the person they enable, if you give someone a fish and whatnot. His son was an uncontrollable rager waiting to happen. The only thing they are guilty of is not letting him sit in jail longer because they thought he was fixable. Every parent likes to think that their child is fixable.

Now here’s why I don’t think enabling him mattered: Jared probably would’ve done it anyways and no matter what Jeremy did, he still would be blamed in the media. An abuser is an abuser for life until he’s stopped. If the courts were harder on him or if all the women he beat stood up and put an end to this, he might have been in jail longer,  but he still would have done this. His son was a bad seed that liked to beat up people. If Remy had cut off Jared and wiped his hands clean of him and his son still killed his baby mama, the media would still rake Jeremy Remy over the coal and Remy’s resignation would still be called for. Except instead of being guilty for enabling a bad seed, he’d be guilty of neglecting a child that needed him and because of that a woman has died. There is no situation where people aren’t calling for his head on a big Red Sox shaped platter.

The issue here is accountability. No one ever wants to take responsibility for themselves. It’s always someone else that needs to take the blame. Boo hoo, his daddy worked all the time. Mine did too, but I didn’t kill anyone or shoot up heroin. The real person at fault here is the one who committed the crime. He was a grown “man”. (I use the term “man” here very loosely because no man hits or acts violently towards a woman let alone the mother of his child.) He’s the one on trial and should stay the only one on trial. I have a hard time feeling sorry for a woman beater, let alone a rich spoiled child. Leave the Remdawg alone and let him do his job. When I see him today, I will see the same guy I’ve always seen only with a little bit more sympathy because his dirty laundry is fodder for the news while essentially being compared to an accomplice to murder.

The Breast Thing To Do?

Admittedly, I giggled writing the title. Some days I think I’ve never matured from high school. Back to the topic at hand: breasts, well in this case breast-feeding. With my first son I didn’t breast feed. The idea of having someone attached to my nipple several times a day actually disturbed me, plus I worked way to many hours to even consider breast-feeding as an option. This time around I’ve decided to give it a try, despite the idea of it still disturbing me. Before I get an applause from those fanatics of lactation, the sole reason for this decision comes down to the fact that I’m cheap and this is the cheapest way to feed a child. It just so happens it’s incredibly healthy for them.

I have problems with breast-feeding more than just the idea of it making me cringe. The idea that my husband can’t be hands on in the most bonding experience of a newborn upsets me. It doesn’t upset me enough to want to become a cow that solely attaches to a machine to make milk, but enough that I consider it. There was two of us that created a child, why shouldn’t both of us be able to adequately bond with it. Plus, that means I’m the only one crawling out of bed every two hours to make sure he’s fed. I like the shared duty idea.. because I’ve grown fond of sleep lately and would like to be able to enjoy at least four hours of it.

I also don’t think that there’s anything wrong with formula feeding your child. My first-born was formula fed and outside of bad genetics, grew up just fine. I don’t think that there’s really much of a difference nutritionally between the two. I understand how breast-feeding provides for immunities and such, but when you get down to the real vitamin and mineral content is there really a difference? Obviously not really, as like I said my first-born grew up just fine and I know more people who formula fed than breast-fed and their kids are perfectly fine too.

In my lovely state of Massachusetts, they have recently banned the formula give-aways you would get in the hospital after giving birth to your child. Sorry, they didn’t legally ban it. It just so happens that all the hospitals mutually agreed to voluntarily stop providing this to patients to force.. sorry, encourage breast-feeding to new mothers. They say these freebies encourage mothers to skip breast-feeding and formula feed their children. I’d hate to break it to the world, but news flash: if a mother doesn’t want to breast feed, she’s not going to do it. In fact, forcing her into something that’s uncomfortable for her is probably worse for them and pushes them more towards formula feeding. We also can’t forget that, and I know that this might be a complete shock, that some women actually can’t physically breast feed. There are some mothers that adopt their kids, use surrogates or just have various other medical complications with breast feeding. So let’s have the great idea of making them feel less like a real mother. Because only real women breast feed right?

I don’t like being pressured into anything. Ever. It doesn’t work for me. I don’t want to fail at breast-feeding and have swarms of lactation crazy women saying “I didn’t try hard enough.” Yeah, that’s going to do wonders for my self-esteem. This idea that a group of people can come together and tell me, “yeah, I know if you work this might be hard for you. And there are places online where you can buy other people’s breast milk if you can’t offer your own.” Thanks guys! I love the idea that my only options are my breast milk or some stranger I don’t even know’s breast milk. This idea actually disgusts the tiny bit of feminist in me. Next all women will be forced out of work because them being home is the best thing for their child. I heard the 50’s were such a great time for women. I like advice on how to raise a healthy child. Advise me to breast feed all you want, but my boobs are my business.