Tag Archives: Marriage

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How to Deal With Your Gamer Partner, and What Perks You Get

First I’ll start by saying you get a 2 post day today, because the feverish me that wrote the Pax East part 2 must’ve forgotten to hit the “Publish” button. My apologies and lesson was learned, I’ll be more sure that I publish what I meant to. No need for you to have to suffer 2 posts in one day again, right?

My husband and I are gamers, in recent months though where we were both evenly hardcore in our playing habits. However, sitting at a computer for hours playing hurts my fat pregnant back so I’ve drastically cut down even with my beautiful panda beta invite. (Note, I’ll probably get back into it when I get Diablo III and they make my priest fun again in Mists of Pandaria.) My husband is in love with the new Mass Effect 3 multiplayer, and he spends much of his free time. At first, this bothered me because I wanted to not be sitting around while everyone one else was having fun. Then it let me see a side that I was never able to empathize with before: the wife or girlfriend who doesn’t game. They don’t understand how to deal with their partner, and most importantly they overlook those perks of having them preoccupied.

I had a weekend I was looking forward to all these fun things that we could do. Eventually, the weekend rolled around and it was a special weekend of Mass Effect 3 goodness that I didn’t pay enough attention when he explained it. That weekend involved him playing his game the entire weekend while I alternated trying to find comfortable positions to relax in, slowly getting irritated at my boredom. Then I realized that I wasn’t sure why I was upset. Imagine all the things I want to spend my weekend doing that he hates! I went to the bedroom and watched Netflix streaming all weekend of things I wanted to and he would never watch with me. Is it embarrassing to say I spent a weekend watching Secret Life of the American Teen with a box of tissues? Maybe, but more importantly was it as fantastic as I’d hope? It sure was ladies.

The point is, so what if your partner plays video games obsessively and sometimes ignores you? Do you really want him to spend all his time doting on you? This is the opportunity you should embrace. You know how you really wanted to see but he wanted to see and you fought about it? Remember that next time he’s too busy killing Brutes to acknowledge you and get that DVD. Also look at it another way, if he’s that intend on finishing goals that a pixelated man sets out for him, imagine his determination in goals he sets for himself.

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The Lies They Tell

As I put on my new maternity clothes, finally accepting the fact that you actually get bigger while pregnant, I commented the evil comment all women blurt out. I said “I look fat in this.” “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful and pregnant”, my husband responded with a kiss. It was that moment I realized something I hope all women realize: of course they lie to us, they don’t want the evil wrath of an angry woman. I don’t understand why we get mad for lying about the silly things to make us feel better, and mad if they don’t lie. Poor men can’t win.

I don’t mind if he lies about the silly things, I appreciate hearing the lies of “the most beautiful girl ever” and the like. I don’t like the “do I look fat in that?” lie, I don’t want to go out looking fat and stupid. Luckily, he tells me the truth and it works out well. If you want to go out looking terrible because you’d rather be lied to, have fun with that.

The real point is, we love our partners because they are willing to lie to us about certain things so we don’t feel down about ourselves. We want certain lies to make us feel good about ourselves, and we shouldn’t get mad at them that they love us enough to lie. Sure, he’s right that I’m not fat and it’s just a baby, but that doesn’t make it any less sweet that he’s willing to say that. Even though, let’s face it, I really do look fat. (You have to love that awkward stage where you look fat, not pregnant. I’m definitely going to mess with people.) I feel sorry for those men who can’t win that fight. Appreciate them for being willing to bite their tongue, because we all know sometimes it’s hard for them to be quiet when they should. Maybe, you can turn and lie to them and see how they feel about it. “What bald spot, sweetheart?”

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The Ginger Asian

For a while after we got married, my husband and I started talking about children and all that fun stuff that married people talk about someday procreating more of us. We affectionately nicknamed this future fetus to be “the Ginger Asian”. We planned it would happen when it happened, and such is life, it happened far sooner than I anticipated though I’m no less overjoyed by this.

Yes, you read correctly. Another me is entering into this world, as long as nothing horribly bad occurs before then. My husband was far more excited about it than I thought, and I often wonder if he’s more excited than I am. I worry though, I always worry. I have a nasty habit of staying realistically pessimistic until I’m proven that things will work out. I’m still happy though, everything will happen as it’s supposed to.

So for the holidays, we gave our families a special gift: the announcement that a new baby will grace them with their presence. They clapped, and smiled and cheered for joy. We held them to secrecy, until today’s doctor’s appointment would confirm it because the last thing we wanted was a false positive that ended up to be cancer. Yes, that would be my luck.

I hope the world is ready for you, Ginger Asians, I’m sure you’ll take the world by storm.

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I Did It All For the Insurance

Yesterday was my one year wedding anniversary. We’re not very interesting people collectively; our celebration involved watching the Patriots game together. I joke with everyone that I only married him for the insurance, saving $500 was a worthy reason, no? That’s not it though, I’m certain he’d be stuck with me forever either way. I needed a logical reason to get married; I don’t buy into romantic ideals. When marriage became a thing of humanity, it was a business transaction. A man buys a daughter from her father, she becomes his property and that is a marriage. With pre-nuptial agreements, that’s further proof that today marriage is still little more than a simple business transaction. Plus, what makes me so special that I can get marriage and a gay couple can’t? Not only do we need a piece of paper to express love, in most places only straight people can get it.

I don’t believe in marriage. For as long as I can remember I didn’t believe in marriage. I need a piece of paper to tell me I’ve dedicated my life to someone? I didn’t understand it; I still don’t if we’re being honest. I find the ritual and yes I mean ritual is tedious. So not only do I need a piece of paper to tell me I’m in love with someone, I need to spend an obscene amount of money to do it in front of hundreds of people? I think I’ll pass. I was never the little girl who dressed her dolls and planned her wedding since the day she was born. I was lucky I planned one when I actually needed to.

Then at some point I realized that this wedding business has nothing to do with me, or my husband for that matter. Our families, well more specifically my mother, needed it. It was a way to show off how wonderful their children grew up to be. I paraded around in a dress to prove a point that love is in the air, and I grew into a beautiful adult. Our big family with a handful of friends got together to celebrate whatever it means to celebrate a wedding, though it probably just means to get dressed up and eat fancy food and getting drunk. Yes, that’s a way we celebrate romance.

I don’t regret it; I gained a wonderful addition to my family. We couldn’t be more perfect for each other. Every day is a fantastic one, and it’s because I have my boys in my life. It doesn’t matter that I still don’t understand why people get married, and that I’m still morally opposed to marriage. I couldn’t have given up my morals to a better person. I love that our wedding wasn’t boring, especially having a fire alarm stall it. I’d also like to thank the Holyoke Fire Department for not complaining for taking my picture in front of your truck, you rock. I married someone who understands I don’t have a romantic view on life and someone who balances me out. Everyone should be that lucky, no matter who you love.