I am so overwhelmed with how well my latest project was received. Last year, I wrote this blog. It was painful to have to write it. Immediately after I wrote this blog, I wrote down the words that I wanted to say to my son afterwards. I wrote the words I did get up the courage to say to him. He was oblivious to what happened; the harsh reality of what that moment really was and what would likely happen in his future especially since things don’t seem to be getting any better. I wrote down the words and thought “these are words that we all should say to our children”. Children are going to get bullied. And they need to know that they are bigger than those words.
The book itself took as long as it took to type the words out as I thought them. Maybe the process only took about 4 minutes. It was simple to write them. It was simple. It was driven by the incredible and special love that a mother has for her child. Illustrating the book, the was a different story. I had trouble finding a program that I felt comfortable using. I had trouble coming up with the pictures that I felt were worthy of these words. My biggest hurdle was myself. I can sculpt things. I’m pretty crafty. I can sew and knit. I’m confident in my artistic abilities except for drawing. I was told by some that my drawing skills are lacking. They are, I will certainly admit that. I was embarrassed about it and hesitated illustrating the book. I didn’t have the money to just hire someone to do it.
Finally, I took my words to heart. People are probably going to laugh at the artwork. I came to peace with that. It’s a children’s book. I wrote it for children because they need encouragement. Okay. I wrote it for my child because he needed those words. But what kid doesn’t need to be reminded that they are special? That the world can be cruel but they doesn’t have to break them? Any self-consciousness I had about my skills had to stop holding me back. You could say that I needed those words too.
The problem with writing is you are putting yourself out there. You are letting people critique you and tear you down. It’s really scary to write and have everyone hate your work. I fear that with every book I release and every blog that I post. I promise to be better.
I want to thank everyone who has purchased this book. I’ve run into some technical difficulties in releasing the paperback version, but I’m hopeful that by the end of next week I can approve the proof and get a physical copy of the book out. I want to thank everyone who has supported me on this journey. Maybe I will start pursuing more children’s books in addition to writing novels. But this past week, I have discovered a level of confidence and pride in myself that let’s me know that maybe I’m doing the right thing staying this course. I look forward to sharing my projects with you all in the future. I have some exciting things planned out and I can’t wait to move forward with it.
I’ve spent over a year mulling over my next publication. Would I finish my plays and put them in a collection? Or would I go back and compile all the miscellaneous writings from over the years that I could come across and put them in a collection of short stories and poetry? I decided on the latter, and I’m happy to say that I have complete it and it is posted. I regret that a short story I had written didn’t make the cut in this edition, mostly because I felt I was running out of time in my self-inflicted deadline to edit it properly. Next time it will be there, and I will be proud.
This takes me to my second e-book. Kindle publishing is a fantastic tool for writers trying to find their way in the writing world. It has gotten even better with their new “create your own cover” program. If you notice, now “Teagan” also has an actual cover now, which I’m more proud of than I was when I created my short story collection cover. The title of it is “Wondering What I Was Thinking: Short Story and Poetry Collection”. I doesn’t appear when you click the link on the side bar, so if you’re interested in purchasing it, just click the “see more from this author” link underneath “Teagan”. This collection is also $0.99 on Kindle e-books.
I have to say that I’m proud of it. It took more courage to publish that one than “Teagan”, because this one is more raw and personal. I reread it for a year, wondering if I should or not. I did anyways, because that’s what writing is all about. Some works were written in high school and the rest over a 10-year-period. It’s not a complete collection of everything, I have other pieces that didn’t make the cut for various reasons. Mostly, because they didn’t seem to fit in with this collection’s “vibe”. It doesn’t take away from my pride in the project, I think it gives me more to look forward to and an additional push to keep going with it. I do appreciate my supporters and the buyers of “Teagan”, because I have to say that if I didn’t sell anyone I wouldn’t have the courage to try again. So, thank you for that and the kind words of support. I’d also like to thank my blog and Hubpages viewers that have also given me the confidence to keep going. You guys also helped push me and I’m deeply grateful for you all.
I’m a huge fan of the Songs of Ice and Fire book series, which also makes me a huge fan of the Game of Thrones HBO series. Thankfully I got my boxed set in the mail and I’m ready to get my marathon in before the season premiere next month. In case you’re wondering, I chose the Targaryen boxed set. (Team Dragon!) I bring this up because of every time I see a book gets turned into a movie or TV show, I cringe a little because they always change something that I feel hurt the core of the story. Thankfully, Game of Thrones is very faithful to the books and any changes were made for logical reasons and never changed anything too important to the story.
This leads me to my next point, with last night’s episode of the Walking Dead. First of all, I dislike Lori. Sorry, dislike doesn’t even begin to cover my feelings of dislike for her. How can you act like a dumb housewife in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? I was assured by my husband who actually read the comics that she wasn’t as dumb in the series, and I hope that’s right. They took all sorts of liberties with the comics, and hearing my husband mention them makes me happy I didn’t read the comics. I hate it when they change storyline that way. I hate it. (Maybe Wednesdays post I’ll make comparisons on how Cersei from Game of Thrones is portrayed differently from the series as Lori from the Walking Dead was.)
My last point: My Sister’s Keeper. I read the book, and it was a good book for what it was. I’ll read anything that’s suggested as good, but I don’t prefer that sort of sappy tear-jerker. I was interested to read it because I heard about the plot when the movie was released. I was ready to rent the DVD when it came out, and I read about it and decided I was too angry to bother with it. Why wouldn’t I read the spoilers to the movie, I read the book so there shouldn’t be too much to learn? I was wrong, and I’ll say “spoiler alert” here. The completely changed the outcome of the book. They changed the ending! I couldn’t believe it, and I vowed never to watch the movie.
Nothing upsets me more than reading a good book and watching something on the television, whether it be a movie or TV show, and have it ruined by Hollywood. It’s not bad enough they can’t come up with their own stories to tell, they have to ruin perfectly good books. I hope that if I ever become a famous writer that Hollywood wants my works, that they never ruin my stories that way. Well, it could be worse and they could be remaking The Great Gatsby again. Oh… crap.