The Joys of Only Trying to Impress Yourself

As I’m currently slowly losing weight, it’s been a different journey from the last time that I went through this process. Last time, I just looked at the baby weight and felt not really disgust with it, but just general unhappiness with it. I didn’t necessarily lose the weight for any other reason than I just didn’t want to have it anymore. That inspired shortcuts that took the weight off and kept the baby weight off until a series of medication changes and stressful situations caused it to slowly come back. This time, it’s not about not wanting to listen to people comment on my weight. It isn’t because I’m trying to impress my partner; my husband loves me no matter what.

No. I’m trying to impress me. Not really in the sense of that I tie in my self-worth with anything like how I look or whether or not people are impressed with me. I don’t need a fancy ring or big house or perfect body to show off because I don’t care about being impressive. In all honestly, I barely care if the people within my household are impressed with me. Is it healthy to not have this need to be impressive? Does that mean that I don’t have any goals to be better? I do have goals and strive to be the best me that I can be. But I just don’t have the need for praise. I don’t need to show off that I’m losing weight to get the masses to support me. Some people need that for motivation. They need to do what helps them on their journey and they shouldn’t be ashamed of that. However I’m very self-motivated, which is probably why working independently at home works for me. I know what I need to do. I focus on what I need to do. And I get it done. Because I will always do what needs to get done.

My confidence shows in other ways. I don’t call myself pretty, because I don’t view myself as anything other than “adequately good-looking”. It’s not because I don’t have confidence in my appearance. It’s because I don’t care about that. I don’t care if other people find me attractive because my husband does, and that’s the extent that I care about my looks. My current weight loss journey has more to do with my mental health than trying to look hot. I’m not down on myself because of my weight. I just need to be in a better mental state and working out and focusing on losing weight makes me feel better mentally. Didn’t lose any weight or gained this week? I don’t get upset. I just look towards doing better next week. I take the same approach to my weight loss as I do in everything else. I’m going to have bad days. I’m going to have good days. Every day gives me that fresh opportunity to be better somehow. I work out because it eases the stress and just gives me a mental boost when I need it. I eat healthier because I mentally feel better. The goal is to feel better, not look better. I think this distinction not only makes it different than last time, but it also makes it easier to accomplish and stick to. A strong foundation in mental health means that I can be better for my family.

I wrote a post before about how I’d rather be honest than impressive. That’s a motto that I honestly live by now because otherwise, it’s stressful. It’s stressful trying to be the perfect mom that has their kid in a billion activities, has a perfectly clean house, and has genius Ivy League bound kids. That’s never going to be who I am. I’m never going to be someone that is impressive and I’m not going to place that on myself. What I will do is always try to be the best version of myself that I can be because that’s what I want for myself, not because other people expect it of me. When you stop trying to impress others and focus on trying to impress yourself, that’s when you can make the changes that you want to. That’s when you can achieve peak happiness, or at least whatever semblance of it that we can have today.

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