Conversations

“That’s because she was too busy flirting with you to do it right”, I joked with my husband after his haircut.

“She wasn’t flirting, that’s what they do. They try to talk to you about things.” He looked at me like I was the weirdest person he’d seen. He’s probably right.

“Mine doesn’t bother with idle chit-chat with me.”

“That’s because she knows you.”

At first, a part of me became offended. Not really, but let’s go with that. He’s right though, I don’t do well with “how’s the weather?” conversations. It might for further than simple social awkwardness. If I wanted to know about the weather, I’d watch the Weather Channel or even just look out the window. I understand conversations about family; that makes sense.

“Some people look at misanthropy as a personality defect. I think it just allows more selective friendships.”

“We’re not talking about friendships, it’s about friendly conversation.”

I never once lied and said I was a people person. In fact, that could probably be so far from the truth that even I’m willing to admit to. Maybe my aversion to people is that I don’t understand simple polite conversation, or just gets bored with it. I could probably discuss things like the weather in a short time span. A 5 minute time frame, at most.

Maybe there’s a point, maybe it is a huge personality defect. But maybe some people just like their quiet and like being alone. I don’t think that means they are mentally ill, they just like peace. That’s just on the different extreme of people who always need people around. What’s the difference really? The only difference is that being outgoing is socially acceptable, even encouraged. Loners are just people who deserve mocking.

I don’t mind having “loner” tendencies. I also don’t mind always erring on the side of social unacceptability. I think blue hair is acceptable at any age, and skinny jeans make me die on the inside. Sure, at the bus stop I look at people with an awkward smile while they try a conversation. I might even secretly make a snide comment in my head. (Ok, it’s not a secret now.) I think it’s ok that I admit it, though no one else will think so. I can’t control my facial expressions to hide what I’m thinking, but I prefer it that way.

The point is, conversations with people are the main interactions you have with new people. It can define whether you actually befriend them or not. That first interaction really gives the first impression that decides how they interact with you later on. As a parent though, you learn that sometimes you have to put in a little effort because your kids chose your friends. It’s true, their friends and their parents become yours, whether you like it or not. Luckily for me, my son has taste in friends. This point of first impressions is making me more aware of how I act to others. It makes me more conscious of how socially unaware I am. Thankfully it seems most people don’t mind as much as you think, as long as you’re not outwardly rude to them. Sometimes they like a little weird in their life.

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