Everyone’s social media pages seem either full of happy pictures of their picture perfect life or inspirational quotes that are meant to be poignant and/or uplifting. It’s nice to read. My social media page is full of illegally parked cars blocking my driveway, which further fill me with anxiety-addled rage every time that I post them. A frequent theme that I see in these posts are “You can’t give from an empty cup”. It’s true. As someone who’s frequently running on empty, it’s hard to give anyone 100%. I do it anyways, sucking it up and overcoming exhaustion to do so. That’s what I’m good for.
What gets me through this empty tank is trying to prove that I’m something. That I’m of use. With everyday life problems like a fridge on its deathbed when that’s the last thing you want to put money into and a bathtub faucet that’s probably using a gallon a day but you know that the piping is probably not to code and will cost like $10,000 to fix, it’s hard to feel like you are useful. It’s easy to feel like you’re a failure at everything when your kid is screaming bloody murder because you enforce the same bedtime every night and they know that they have that bedtime but still scream at you for being unfair anyways. Those are the struggles that people face. The middle class, who honestly took a massive hit during this pandemic, has to face these things every day while trying to work as hard as they can to make ends meet while the rich people sit up there and talk about how you can also succeed if you have rich families so pull yourself up. We’re not going to be perfect. We’re not going to be the perfect parents that feed our kids gourmet, balanced organic meals. We’re the ones who say “screw it” and just cook up frozen chicken nugs and fries, calling it a day because you don’t have much more in you that day.
Still, we get up and soldier on because that’s what’s expected of us. That’s what we need to do. What other option is there, really? Just the simple fact that we get up and try every day is significant, especially on those more difficult days. It’s easy to just assume that getting out of bed is easy. It’s not. It’s something that is easier for some than others. It’s inevitable that some days everyone just wants to stay in the comforts of their bed because they can’t handle anymore. People don’t talk enough about those days. Maybe it’s because they assume people will pity them or think that they are fishing for sympathy. Maybe it’s because they prefer their struggles in private. Maybe they are in denial of their struggles and want to put on a “Thrive not struggle” mentality, pushing that on other people and making them feel worse than they do on those bad days.
This motivational, pyramid-scheme emphasis on thriving is something that I think makes people feel worse. It doesn’t motivate them; it depresses them further to a point where they think falling into a pyramid scheme is the answer to their struggles. It’s not. But they can thrive if they sell this product, which gives the person who recruited them some money and the person who recruited the person who recruited them even more money, creating a pyramid where really the only one that thrives is the higher ups that came up with the scheme to begin with. /endrant
The real point isn’t a knock at “multi-level marketing” scams.. I mean… businesses.
The real point is that when you made the choice to wake up anyways, you won the battle. Mental health is a war and just showing up is winning. You’re fighting every day and sometimes people lose the battle, and they should be remembered for having the strength that they did to make it so long. The battle can be harder for some than it is others. It’s important to remember that every time that you judge someone for anything. Everyone has their silent struggles that they won’t talk about. And you know what? I think that’s okay. I think sometimes people just need to know that people are there and not have a need to share their struggles. I think that sometimes people do need to share those struggles and they should feel safe enough to do so. Everyone’s journey is as unique as they are. I think that the important part is that you make yourself available and support them on their journey in the best ways that you can.
Also, just be kind people. Can we try that for a change?