Tag Archives: Aging

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Aging Gracefully?

The dreaded 40. I had friends making a bucket list of things to do before they turned 40. As I approached my 40th birthday last year, I admittedly rolled my eyes at my friends. We’re 40, not dying. I didn’t dread that number. At 41, I still don’t. It’s an age. Your age is not something that defines you. You can very easily define that age for yourself, making it whatever you want. That’s the wisdom we gained with these 4 decades.

It doesn’t help that we get things thrown at us all the time. You get ads on your phone as you get older about all these creams or serums and honestly, I can barely apply basic eye shadow and mascara without it becoming a production. Poking myself in the eye with the mascara wand. Getting eye shadow glitter all over my face. It’s a disaster really. And you expect me to know what to do with collagen toner? These are things that I’m convinced are there are make us feel bad for those little lines we’ve earned as growing older in the efforts to contribute to the obscene coffers of these companies. I don’t mean this as a judgement to those who do make these investments. In fact, part of me is admittedly jealous that you aren’t overwhelmed at all these products.

We’re told to age gracefully, as women. We criticize those random gray strands we find. We analyze our face daily to see if we notice a new line that wasn’t there the day before. We are changing. Our skin is getting weird and dry. We’re getting antsy about what we’ve accomplished, and often times more focused on what we didn’t. If we’re moms, we have the added worry of juggling all these changes (both physical and especially mental) on top of “Am I doing enough for my kids?” Because that’s right; on top of convincing us that we need to be aging gracefully, we also need to be the perfect partners and parents.

You can age as gracefully or as not gracefully as you want. You can do that bucket list if it eases your mind. You can let your grays take the spotlight and rock it. You can proudly show off every wrinkle that you have earned, as your mind and body aged. Or you can erase the signs of aging because you’ve earned that right to do whatever you want to feel good about yourself. We’ve earned that right to age on our own terms and not let some silly numbers define who we are. To not let other people tell us how we should age gracefully.

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I Feel As Young As Ever

Yesterday was my birthday, the good ol’ 29. Not quite 30, and still another year to enjoy my 20’s. A friend on Facebook said “I hope you don’t feel almost 30, because I do”. My response: “Eff that, I feel as young as ever. Mostly because I’m too tired to feel”. He said he was going to steal it, but I just stole it first. To prove my point, when I originally read it, I thought he had said “I hope you don’t fear 30, because I do”. Which I had a response for that too: “I don’t fear 30, 30 should fear me”. It’s true, it should. I’m kinda a b-word.

I can’t complain, my 20’s were certainly a lot better than my teens, but being of legal drinking age probably helped that a lot. I don’t really feel older though. Maybe wiser, definitely more seasoned. I still feel like I’m young enough to take on the world. When I was 18, I was afraid of the big 3-0. When you’re young and stupid, you think your life ends when you’re married with kids. While your life as a person who can do whatever you want whenever you want is over, life is still full of fun and excitement. Though admittedly my idea of a thrill is the Russian Roulette I play while changing diapers. The minute I think I’m safe, I end up with a painting on my shirt washed off with urine. Luckily with age, you also gain a level of patience. And more of a sense of humor.

30 isn’t really old anymore. You’re still young enough to not have wrinkles and grey hair, but you’re too old to shop in the juniors department with any shred of respect. Now you’re the “old lady trying to look young”. In your 20’s, you easily get a pass on this. Not 30 though, now you have to figure out a whole new style of clothes. It’s also at this age that getting faceplanting drunk because it’s trashy and not cool. We’re definitely way too old for bar hopping. until 2 a.m. And this also means we’re too young to be unemployed without any attempt towards a goal, but way to young to sit around watching soap operas and eating loneliness as if we’ve given up in life.

I’m excited for what 29 will bring me. Hell, I’m even excited to see what happens at 30. I keep looking for wrinkles and passing off as someone in my early 20’s. I’m ok with it. I’m trying towards everything I want in life, and I realize that I won’t sell 100 novels in a day starting out. I’m even sure that I won’t sell 100 in 6 months starting off. (Don’t forget, the link on the side will allow you into my first long short story.) I feel accomplished though because I tried, and will keep trying towards this goal. I feel accomplished because I have 2 amazing sons that are growing up very well as smart and mostly healthy children. Not to mention, I have hands down the most amazing husband in the world. Don’t be afraid of getting older. If you embrace it, you’ll realize that every chapter of our life brings something exciting. Getting old and grey doesn’t mean you should be sad, you get to retire and enjoy your grandchildren. Life goes on, and you shouldn’t sit back and give up when you still have so much to go. Life’s too short to squander it.