I’ve always said that my approach to parenting was all about the long game. It was about raising future adults. I wanted to be the change, doing my part to raise a generation of kids with a strong work ethic, a duty to serve others, and to just be kind human beings that did their part in the world as functioning adults. I wanted them to be self-sufficient. As I raised my oldest, I taught him how to do laundry as soon as I felt it was safe to. I taught him how to cook. I taught him “girl” things because I wanted him to be able to take care of himself as an adult. I wasn’t going to be raising a 32 year old that was incapable of doing the simplest thing for himself. I wanted him to be able to live on his own and if he did get married, he could take care of his partner.
It’s amazing to see it happen. It seems like you blink and one day they are on the last week of high school, like my oldest son is now. But when you think about it, you saw the process happen in slow-mo. You watched those little steps. You watched the first time he made your famous curry dish and proudly showed off. You watched him do his homework and get honors and high honors on the report cards. You saw his hard work as he worked towards his goals, getting into his top choice college. It was a process that was an honor to be a part of. While I always want to protect my little (not-so little)
boy adult, it’s time where I move onto the sit back and worry stage. It’s under his control now. He is the driver of this ride that he’s on now. I now have to transition into the guidance stage. The stage where I support and offer advice, but ultimately, it’s on him now.
This is why I thought it was so important to play the long game. I wanted to make sure that he was equipped out there. That he was equipped to make the right decisions. That I did the best that I could to make sure that he would carefully think out his next move. That I did the best that I could to raise an adult that would contribute something great to society. I hope I succeeded. But when he moves onto campus in a few short months, that’s when I’ll know for sure if I did my job effectively, while still letting him know that this would always be his home no matter where he lives.
You try to deny that this growth is happening. Not my little baby. But eventually the days count down and you can’t avoid it anymore. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that this adult will find his place in the world and do something great. I even imagine seeing him on ID, talking about how he profiled and got the bad guy. I look forward to seeing the great things that this young man will accomplish. I did my part in this arrangement; now, I have to trust that he will take it and run with it.