I’m not sure if it’s because of my age, or what, but I’ve decided it’s time to make some improvements in my physical appearance. Nothing like plastic surgery, if I was meant to look like Olivia Wilde, I would’ve been born that way. As I near 30, I realize that sometimes wanting to look better has little to do with how other people view you but how you view yourself. I hate to admit it, but at 30, wearing ill-fitting clothes from the Juniors department while hangs out is no longer an acceptable way to go about life. This has to do with how well you feel about yourself, and how you want to represent yourself to the outside world. If your goal is to look like a 30-year-old who’s trying to be 15 again, fine go for it. That’s not my goal, and it probably shouldn’t be yours if you want to be taken seriously or respected. Unfortunately, that’s a fact of life. Some day, it’s no longer cute to try and hang onto your teens and it because immature and trashy.

This was the standstill I still have trouble with. Thankfully, I know better than to shop in the Juniors Department, but I think we all get a little lost during this transition from our twenties to our thirties. I refuse to be one of those people stuck behind, because eventually I will get somewhere with my writing and I want to be taken seriously for it. I want to be taken seriously as a parent at school events. I don’t want to be that mom that looks awful and have my child be judged based on that. I don’t want my work judged based on that. As a wife and mother, my appearance reflects on them. I accept I need to look pristine at my husband’s work functions. Every decision I make in that account does affect them, and as parents we should realize this too. When a neighbor would come to the bus stop in her pajamas and a bathrobe, people looked at her like she had 3 heads. I then saw children on the bus laugh at her son for it, and the son looked embarrassed. It’s a sad reality we face, but we have to face it because society won’t change.

Most importantly, I’m doing this for myself. I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant, and I wanted to lose the weight because I didn’t like the way I look, and with some effort, I’m already down 10lbs since I’ve come home from the hospital and nearly 40 since my son’s birth. I’m not starving myself, I’m eating better. I’m exercising an hour or more a day, and in the few days I’ve made this resolve I feel a million times better about myself and I feel like I’m succeeding at something. I’ve also dealt with acne since my teens without much success, and finally have found some and it’s slowly working too. My skin is looking fantastic, though I hear that’s a side effect from healthy living too. It’s a slow process, losing weight and adjusting to the upcoming decade of my life, but I can handle it. Bring it on.