Or lack thereof. The truth is, I have none. I haven’t had that incredible moment where I said “wow, we’re great people as a whole and I’m proud to be among them”. There were brief moments where I was proud of people, like when the Boston Bombing happened and people helped each other out in such an extreme situation. Those were brief moments, and immediately I get brought back to the reality of people are a group of selfish and disrespectful morons that go through every day without an ounce of remorse of anything stupid and horrible they do to each other. People are bullies, that bully people to get their way. People are inconsiderate. People care about things like race and nationality and not people as people. I know, it’s a sweeping generalization of close to 10 billion people, but I said it anyways.
Maybe this is all in my head, and the fault lies in a personality defect of my own. I wouldn’t doubt that. I have no patience for people, and less so in those that I’ve observed enough to know that I want nothing to do with them. I observe people a lot, I consider it a hazard of my writing. By watching behaviors of others, I can create realistic characters for my stories. I watch people interact. I’ve learned from my own experiences and observations all I need to know about particular people. I’ve learned a lot, and I don’t like anything I’ve learned. You find out eventually that you can read them from this. Then, you realize that they often read like a bad book where you wish you never read them. That’s when you find out who a person really is. I’m a cynical person, but I generally give someone the benefit of the doubt before I judge them. More often and not, I give a few opportunities for this. Usually my gut ends up right, and I learn to just trust it. And my gut tells me that my original statement holds more truth than I’m sure any of us care to admit.
My husband tests this theory. He is probably the best of humanity, and I’m fortunate my children will learn from him. He’s kind, generous, and helps when he can where he can. During a massive storm a few years ago, he was waiting in line to get gas for 3 hours. The person in front of him stalled out, and he got out of his car and helped them push their car to the pump, risking losing his spot in line. Another time, a woman locked her child in her car with the keys, and he called security and waited there until he was sure she was going to be safe enough. I stayed by our car with my phone out ready to call 911 in case she was a serial killer trying to take advantage of a kind person trying to help. I would’ve left that last part out, but it shows that he’s the best of humanity while I’m a mistrustful cynic that watches too many crime shows. The main point is, he is the evidence I have that there is some good in the world in my generation, and I see how people walk all over him constantly while he just sits back and takes it. People like him get eaten alive in this world, while people more crude and vile make successes beyond him whether they work hard for it or let others. I try to change my mind for him, I try because I see it in him. But for everyone one of him, there are 30 of ones not like him.
I’m not calling for a mass murder of humanity, only a re-awakening of it. People can change if they put their minds to it, if they really give a crap to change. You don’t need to be an ass. Too many people who lie, cheat, steal and abuse live out their lives like that because no one has the balls to fix it. We all let that happen. Until we put our foot down and make it so this isn’t acceptable. The way I’m going to change this is by making sure my children grow up so they have the strength to not be walked on, but the kindheartedness that the world needs more of. We can have both. It’s probably too late for us, but our children might be able to live in a world where superficial things like race and nationality are unimportant.