I sit at my computer often, and stare at a blank screen. Before the baby, I would spend hours in this state and end up eventually with my head on they keyboard in frustration. My iHome sits on a higher part of my desk, just behind the monitor. I enjoy the music and pretending I’m accomplishing something more than invisible words. I can hope that one of those times, I’ll sit and something or anything will appear on that screen. Most days it doesn’t, but sometimes I get lucky and words won’t stop flowing from my fingers hitting the keys. Those are good days for me.
Every writer has those moments; the ones where they go days, months or even years where something didn’t happen. We see it with the “Songs of Ice and Fire” series where many wonder if it will ever be finished. I hold out hope. I sympathize with George R.R. Martin in this aspect. Any writer sympathizes with the will to do so much and having writer’s block while trying to do everything. Anyone in a profession who finds themselves in a rut they can’t seem to shake can sympathize with this. The only difference is I still haven’t quite broken through enough to call this a profession, though my husband insists I can call myself a writer with confidence because that’s my skill and it makes me happy.
I have hope that my break will come, eventually. J.K. Rowling was in her 30’s when she became successful. I have a half year until I hit my 30’s. Is that when I should give it up? Should I even have a timeline for it? Many writers don’t become successful until later in life, right? I can keep telling myself to make myself feel better and make me feel confident enough to keep pushing through. I can do this and I will do this. Dreams were meant to be aimed for and tried until you can’t try anymore. And that’s what I’ll do.