Things I Learned: Random Rants Edition

It’s that time, and it’s been a while since I discussed silly little random things I’ve seen and learned a lesson from. An introduction to these points would be repetitive, so I’ll let them speak for themselves.

What I learned this week about being pregnant: My husband asked what happened to his cookies, and I told him that if he didn’t eat them where he would find them. He looked at me, and it occurred to me what he was thinking. “I didn’t eat them, what just because I’m pregnant, you think I eat everything in the house?” He tried to hide his smirk, and nodded yes. The next day, I nearly devoured a 15 lbs watermelon all by myself. He looked at me, smirking away judgmentally and lovingly and I realized that maybe he was right. Except about the cookies, even pregnant I still don’t really like cookies. It bothers me he was right and so smug about it. I shall be a good wife and remember this when I want something he won’t agree to and use it against him. Remember men, it only works because you let us get away with it.

What I learned while watching Fox News this week: I looked up to see them discuss a news story that none of the other news organizations bothered to air. I didn’t care enough to listen to what news story it was, but I couldn’t help but to laugh about the news articles I’ve read that never saw its way on Fox News. As if there was a God that wanted to prove a point, I read about Charles Worley and wanted to cry about how humanity is going. I waited several days, and not a mention of him on the news programs or as a headline on their website. In case you were wondering, he’s a pastor who wants to round-up gay people and lock them in an electrical fenced in area to die off. Also, check out the Anderson Cooper video with a follower of this pastor on Gawker. You’ll learn to love that quirky silver-haired man after watching this video. I’ll shout out a “thanks” to him for saying what we were all thinking in that way only he can. I’d like you guys to play the “Find the Charles Worley Story on Fox News” game too. But please, show us more of how unlikable Elizabeth Warren is because I’m pretty sure people take her as seriously as they take Joe Biden. Oh, I hope no one takes either of them seriously because they are both as nutty as an almond bar. Also, I’d like to know more about how religious freedoms mean the government can’t tell the religions what to do, but the religions can tell the government what to do. Last I check, gay marriage was more of a religion topic than a governmental one.

What I learned from Gawker: You’ve become my most reliable source of news over Jon Stewart now. I’m not sure if that’s sad for me or sad for the organizations that call themselves “News”.  I’ve also learned that I’m going to start watching the Anderson Cooper show. I’m glad I mentioned him in my novella that is finally in the polishing stages.  Please for the sake of corporate news cynics like myself, continue to tell us stories the mainstream media refuses to share with us. Gawker, my family loves you.

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