Things I Learned at the OB/GYN

Yes, another installment of my “Things I learned”. I know, you’re excited to see what happened.

The first thing I learned at the OB/GYN is that apparently I have to wait because someone decides that they should get a test that’s been scheduled for a week done right before their appointment. I’m all for a little procrastination, but I’m not for making someone wait an hour for their appointment because I was too lazy to do something a week ago. Which makes no sense, because generally they schedule them after the appointment, so you could’ve just went there on your way out. My theory is they put the lab there for that single reason of “oh I should get this done before I go”. Don’t worry, I had my Droid crossword puzzles and idiots in the waiting room to inspire this post, so I forgive you.

The next thing I learned, I should mention that I learned from a nice and intelligent group of teenagers. One was pregnant, and she decided it’d be a fun field trip for her and her friends. I know when I think of a fun day out with my friends, it’s having everyone together with me, while I’m covered in nothing but sheets while my female parts are on display. Sadly that’s not the reason I mentioned it, and I’ll ask you to prepare a /facepalm. The pregnant one says “I wonder if I can get them to C-Section this thing out of me 3 months early. I mean, its brains fully developed so it should be fine.” Her friend responded, “I’m sure it’ll be OK, you should ask while we’re there.” If you’re going to talk in the waiting room, don’t speak loud enough the entire place hears you say something stupid. Secondly, maybe being pregnant you should probably learn something about fetal development. I actually wish I was her friend in that moment to see how the exam with the midwife or doctor went. Oh, I laughed imagining what the medical practitioner’s face would look like in that moment.

The last thing I learned is that mothers don’t always know best. While sitting outside, reading the information packet my midwife gave me, a woman is walking by with her male partner and an infant in her arms. While holding her child, she has a lit cigarette hanging out of her mouth, with ashes dropping on the child’s clothes. The infant coughs, and she said “I wonder why he isn’t breathing well?” She tosses the baby to her partner, and drops the lit cigarette to the ground and walks in while her partner says “that’s why we’re here. He’s not doing so well.” It’s always sad to see a sick baby, those poor helpless beings. I might not be an expert in the medical field, but something tells me that carrying a child while smoking in their face probably isn’t helping them breathe any better. I’d also gather that smoking in a child’s face during the cold and flu season isn’t the best thing to do either. In fact, I think I’d go out on a limb and say just maybe, this is a long shot though, that blowing smoke in a baby’s face is causing them not to breathe well. Just tossing some free and unlicensed medical advice there.

And with that, I conclude what I learned. I hope any of this information is useful to you.

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