Category Archives: Writing

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Can I Send Them Back Yet?

Like most parents during this coronavirus pandemic, the upcoming school year has given me a lot of anxiety. This anxiety could be eased if I had some sort of expectation of what will be happening in the upcoming school year. With about 6 weeks to go until school starts, I’ve already started getting my youngest in the routine of going to bed/getting up early so he’d be awake for school. But aside from that, my normal preparations of buying school supplies and clothing that I’d normally start planning early based on sales isn’t going to happen for me yet. Why? Why should I buy $200 of school supplies per kid if they don’t end up back in the classroom? Why spend double that on clothes if they are just going to be in their pajamas behind a computer?

I understand why there is so much uncertainty. People were hoping this would be gone by August/September and the kids could go to school as usual and things would be great. But people are dumb (yes, I said it. Dumb people who don’t take precautions are why this is still a problem.), so things can’t go back to normal yet. But where does this leave us? They say we will have some idea of what’s going on by Friday of this week… or of next week. They did release something to give us an expectation of what to expect, plan-wise, but there are too many unknowns.

Based on the information as I interpreted it, there would be a hybrid option and a remote learning option. Every kid is different, and this is exactly the situation in my household. My oldest, who will be a senior this upcoming school year (yikes!), takes an overly crowded bus to school. My youngest walks to school and has a 504 plan in place. Both of these scenarios requires a different approach and I’m a firm believer in individualism.

If given the option, I would let my oldest take remote learning. He’s a bright kid who can work well attending classes online and would keep up with his work because he has goals of going to college and going into forensics, something that he takes very seriously. Plus, I would argue he is at a higher risk of infection because of him being on an overcrowded bus and just because he has a mask on, doesn’t mean the 3 people he’d be sharing the row of seats with would. There’s also the fact that high schoolers switch classes throughout the day, meaning there is an even higher risk of contact. Common sense would tell me if there was a kid that was going to be likely to bring it home with them, it would be the high schooler. He’s likely going to at least miss out on swimming anyways with everything going on, so there won’t be a risk of him not being able to participate because of remote learning.

Then there is my youngest. If given the option, I will be sending him for hybrid learning. First of all, he has a 504 plan with occupational therapy and I’ve tried unsuccessfully to perform those services for him. There’s also the social aspect of it. While my oldest spends all day texting or talking to his friends on Discord or playing games with them, my youngest still needs to develop those important social skills. How to behave in the classroom, how to interact with other kids. Those are things that can really only be learned in the classroom. Having time in the classroom if it’s safe enough, meaning that they can follow the safety guidelines, is beneficial to my youngest during this crucial time in his development. Would I be mad if I didn’t have this option? No, because safety is more important than anything and I’d rather do remote learning with my kids than put my family or other people at risk of getting sick. Honestly, parents already send their kids to school sick half the time because they can’t take the day off of work or they don’t want to deal with it. That’s just not acceptable under these circumstances, so who knows what kids are going to be going to school with. I hope it’s safe and while regulations are great, they puts a lot of assumption that people care enough to follow them. They don’t seem to do that already.

I don’t put any blame on our school district for not having more answers. Should they have been planning something since this all happened, just in case? I would hope that they already had some sort of idea of what the next school year could look like, even if they only recently received the state guidelines for reopening. I’m trusting in the teachers of this district to be the voices of our students, like I’ve trusted the teachers in this district since my own experiences growing up in these schools. My trust in the school council is far less certain, but I’m hoping for the best. This is something new that we’ve never experienced before. This is a new way of life that doesn’t seem to be going away any time soon, as cases are starting to spike in some areas.

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In Careful Consideration: A Political Post

I try to avoid things that are too political. Why? Because in the polarizing world that we live in today, you get disgusted comments about how you’re a lib-tard snowflake or a Trumper without anyone taking what you are saying with any consideration at all. People don’t want you to disagree with them or have thoughts that are independent of a political party. That’s insane, right? Not being bound to a specific political party, rather just having your own, independent thought that doesn’t have a party? Crazy.

I have opted against that. I’m sure in my passing comments you can gather that I’m not a fan of the president. He was voted in and I respect the office, but it’s way too hard to respect the man in the office. I didn’t necessarily like President Obama, he had his moments that I applauded him for and things that left me go “Huh, how about no?” And that’s OK. Because your beliefs don’t have to be bound to a political party. That’s what America’s all about. You can be different. You can speak your mind. You can say that you don’t agree with the president without it being more than just “I don’t agree with him”.

It does scare me in writing this. If a president can just send a militarized police force wherever he wants in the name of “Law and Order”, what’s to stop him from secretly going after anyone who speaks out against him? It’s apparent that no one cares to stop him from doing anything shady. I don’t see him deploying secret military to quiet down KKK rallies. What if President Obama did that? Would that still be perfectly fine? The answer is probably not and there would be riots over this blatant disregard of the constitution, as there should be. If people are protesting responsibly, respectfully, and there’s no violence, then anyone has the right to protest whether you agree with them or not.

I keep thinking about things that are going on right now and all I can think of is “What if President Obama did that?” President Trump blames President Obama for stuff all the time, but I distinctly remember watching Fox News segments where they would go off on President Obama because he blamed President Bush for things. “Well, you’re president now and the buck stops with you, right?” President Trump blames President Obama, and all they do is defend it saying “Well, he’s right to blame him because look at the mess he left for President Trump to clean up.” You can’t have it both ways. You absolutely can’t have it both ways. And, no, I don’t think it has to do with Fox News being racist; it has to do with the fact they are pandering to the Republican base as CNN and MSNBC pander to the Democrats. It isn’t about fair reporting; it’s about money, power, and ratings.

It is with careful consideration that I make such controversial statements as I just did, that you can criticize a president no matter what party is in power. You can criticize politicians that are paid with your tax payer dollars to represent you. That’s what America is all about. Unfortunately, it’s been a long time since people would consider other points of view and be open-minded to the fact that they’re wrong about something. Maybe things would start getting better if people were more loyal to silly things like facts than a political party that only wants power and money that comes from their positions.

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The Break From Reality

For a while, I’ve been at a point where I’ve been too in awe (in the worst way possible) about the things going on around me. It’s been a painful realization that it has been a while since people cared about silly little things like facts, reason, and common sense. It’s all been taken over by a brainwashed lemming mentality from people of any party that doesn’t care about anything other than what their party leaders want them to believe. Take this whole cluster of a coronavirus situation as a perfect example of this.

The far right think there’s nothing. It’s just a flu. Who needs to wear a mask? The flu kills more people, this is just a scare tactic to control the masses. Fake news. The democrats made up the coronavirus pandemic to hurt the president’s chances of re-election. Masks cause more harm than good. They don’t protect you and you can get lung issues from breathing in the CO2. Masks interfere with my civil liberties.

The left has made it their sole job to make the right look bad. Which, in all honesty, they have been doing pretty great job of doing that themselves without the left helping. However, demonizing people from the right for standing up and going with their country over their party (as they should be doing) just because “it’s too little too late”. Just because they are Republican, it doesn’t make them bad. Being a lemming Republican that follows an inept president without even questioning any shady thing that he does is enough for me. I applaud the ones who are willing to speak their conscious. I’m happy that there are Romneys that exist that march for civil rights when the matter should’ve been resolved already or talks about how commuting a sentence of someone who didn’t rat the president out is actually pretty corrupt and shady as hell or how he actually believes the coronavirus is a big deal. Instead of demonizing people just because they don’t believe as you, maybe focus on being the bigger person.

I could go on from all of this, but it hurts my head to think people are so blind to actual facts that it doesn’t matter to them what reality is. They just want to fit in. They don’t want to question their leaders, who they have put on this pedestal and worship because they believe these people are their saviors. I don’t worship any politician. They are flawed, selfish, and cowardly. I don’t worship journalists, because they care more about ratings and money than facts. I do worship facts. Facts like maybe at first Trump gets a pass because it was a novel coronavirus so at the beginning, people didn’t really know much. But as the situation progressed, the country needed a leader, not a petulant child that cares more about ratings than Americans dying. That blames a president that wasn’t even in charge when the virus took hold of America. That blames the press for blowing it out of proportion or the medical experts because he doesn’t like the truth. Because facts are fake news to him.

Instead of leading, he caused further division. By never wearing a mask, he made it a political message, just as the Democrats flaunting their’s did. I don’t wear a mask on the rare occasion that I go out because I’m associated with a political party; I do it because honestly I’m not an idiot. When a medical professional tells me, “Wear the mask and avoid crowds”, I’m going to trust that medical professional that I trust for my medical care over what the internet or social media tells me. Do I mean to say that by not wearing a mask you’re an idiot? That I judge you for not wearing one when out in public? Honestly, I wear it because I like to be informed and safe and the same reason I vaccinate my kids even though the likelihood of them coming into contact with the measles is rare. If you don’t care about whether or not you get sick because it’s just a flu or because you’re going to develop asthma from wearing it, it’s not my problem. It’s not my concern or place to judge people. You obviously have a strong enough immune system to fight anything that comes your way. I don’t have that luxury.

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Taking Advantage of the “Free” Time

It wasn’t too long ago that I was at the healthy weight I wanted to be at, keeping in shape for a while. Then specialists appointments and evaluations and youth sports and changes of medication all hit at a time that ended up snowballing into weight gain. Combined with the fact that once you pop over that 30s milestone, your metabolism is nowhere near what it used to be. I didn’t prioritize myself, which is a common factor among most women who are struggling to breathe most days let alone worry about whether or not they got their workout in.

Right before the pandemic hit, I had been switched to a new medication and was able to start losing weight. Then that weight loss vanished and went to a significant gain while I had to manage my workload, remote learning responsibilities, trying to be an occupational therapist with no training, and managing reminding my oldest about his AP exams. Then there was the also trying to keep everyone behaved upstairs and on task while keeping the youngest away from Daddy, who was working in a makeshift office in the basement.

One of the problems that happened with my first round of weight loss was that I stuck to a severely strict diet, which really wasn’t going to be maintainable after the fact. I didn’t care, I just wanted to lose the weight fast. I enjoy working out, it’s just finding the time. I enjoy salads, fruits, and veggies. It’s just when you add in other things, such as convenience meals and eating on the go, that becomes a problem.

I had to take a look at what my problem was. It wasn’t that I over-indulged when eating. Even at my heaviest, I couldn’t eat a lot in a single sitting. My problem was the snacking. The mindless eating at my computer as I worked or when I stress ate snacks without paying attention to how much of it I was eating throughout the day. Those are the things that added up. Those were the real lifestyle changes I needed to make.

After doing some research, I did find myself interested in intermittent fasting. What this would do is take an entire piece out of this equation: the mindless eating as I worked. By timing my daily “fasting” with my work schedule, I would eat a light lunch of a sandwich or salad at around 1 or 2, eat supper at 5:30-6:30, and maybe have a light snack if I felt like it at the end of the day. I would eat in the kitchen, standing at the counter after I made my lunch. If I wasn’t done with work, I would go back to it after I ate and was careful to only bring a glass of water back with me. I would not eat anything past 8 or 9, and do the routine again the next morning.

I didn’t work out the couple weeks of the fasting. I wanted to see it work on its own and I manage to lose about 5-10lbs by sticking to that. I focused on portion sizes without giving up something I enjoyed. For instance, I would only have a single slice of pizza and eat a leafy green salad. The important thing was to I wanted to make sure there wasn’t any negative side effects, like dizziness or other issues that would impact working out. Plus, losing a little weight before getting back into it would probably make working out more effective, or at least help me have the stamina to do a workout.

Here we are today. I started probably back in the latter part of May and I’ve successfully hit a major milestone and am back to my pre-quarantine weight, if not less. But it’s not about the weight. It’s about staying sane in a time when things are on fire in the world around me. I do yoga every morning, followed by a workout or two (dance workouts, usually). On days when I feel overwhelmed, I do another workout (usually something like an MMA-style workout) instead of grabbing a snack. I feel better afterwards, and I’m getting healthier and stronger every day.

This isn’t about looking cute in clothing or trying to make my husband happy by getting into shape (because he honestly doesn’t care about that). My priority is getting healthy because I want to be healthier. Before, it was about getting into my pre-baby clothes or that astonishingly skinny level I was at when I was a teenager/early twenties. That was another change in mindframe from the last time I lost weight. I wanted to not look horrible in photos or out in public. This change of focus has really been a key factor in my success.

The takeaway here: my approach changed and my weight loss has been significantly more successful. I didn’t lose much during my dreaded female time, because I can barely function like an actual adult, but I still lost something. I acknowledged the realities of why I gained weight/maintained higher weight, and adjusted it to my lifestyle. It’s not about looking good; it’s about feeling good. It’s not about following a bunch of rules or giving up the things you enjoy; it’s about learning how to enjoy them in a different way. These are the things that helped me. Intermittent fasting isn’t an ideal choice for everyone, for health reasons. But this was the best way to resolve an issue I had with my eating habits.

I look forward to what the future will bring in this new journey to a healthier me. Because this is something sustainable. And I look forward to not feeling too terrible to run so I can get back to that. If you want to get healthier, the point is to find the best approach for you because we’re all different. You need to find something that you can stick to. And you need to be sure that you do it for you.

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Living in this New World

I can’t say that this being locked up thing is getting to me. It honestly really isn’t. I wasn’t one who really liked going out too much anyways, so being forced to stay home for the sake of my own terrible immune system and to protect others seems perfectly fine to me. I never really use babysitters aside from 2-3 times a year, so having the kids around me 24/7 is something that doesn’t get to me because that’s my normal anyways. I can get more work done. Fit in more time for things like working out and clearing out the DVR of all those trashy reality shows I didn’t have time for. What perfect time to escape this horrible reality we live in right now than fake, trashy reality shows that gives your brain a break?

As things start to open up, I keep going “nah, I’m good”. I’m not ready yet. I won’t be ready until the numbers are down to next to nothing or there’s a vaccine/actual medicine to help prevent the virus or significantly reduce the symptoms. I’ve very much prone to upper respiratory infections. I’ve had sinus infections so bad the doctor orders me to take steroids and bed rest. If something like that can take me out, the idea of something more serious doesn’t make me feel safe at all.

But schools will be starting in fall. My youngest will have his 8th birthday in September and my oldest will have his rescheduled Confirmation ceremony a few weeks later. These are events where I would normally throw parties that people love because I make a lot of adequate tasting food. But having a party while this is all going on? That’s silly to me. I have family members with compromised immune systems. I have a terrible immune system. Attending parties like this or inviting parties into my home is not something I’m about right now. Other people can make the choice to have a massive party, but honestly I’m out. I’ll be clear right now. Nope. Don’t be insulted. I don’t mean it as an insult. But I have to make decisions that are right for my family. And I don’t think my family could function without me.

After discussing an idea I was offered by my father with my husband, I realized a great idea to have some celebration for these events while minimizing risks. People can come to the house between certain hours on those dates if they want to drop off a present and/or just say “Hi”, then they can take a cupcake and goody bag for the kids, then people can keep cycling in as they want throughout the day. I don’t have to worry about figuring out a socially distanced birthday party with my small house, which would be even more complicated if it rains and I can’t take advantage of my decently sized lawn. And I can properly disinfect after each guest. And it helps people who don’t want to sit around at a kid’s party all day long so that they can leave without sounding rude. It seems like a great idea in theory. We’ll see if people get insulted when they get their invitations.

The point is, everyone is working through this matter at their own pace. Some people are ready to have big parties, and that’s okay for them. Some people aren’t ready to do anything. That should be equally okay. People shouldn’t be insulted by people not wanting to attend parties right now. I’m waiting until my doctors and the experts on this matter to say “It’s all good now, folks”. Forcing others to move at a pace they aren’t ready for and shaming them or getting angry at them for working at a different pace is actually kind of selfish and terrible. People interpret information differently. Some insist this is a hoax. That’s cool. Some prefer to err on the side of caution for whatever reason. That’s also cool. It’s not your place to tell anyone what they should be doing while people are dying around them. You do you, let me do me.

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Navigating the Tricky Season of Preparing for School Next Year

The school district my boys attend had their last day of school yesterday. With another school district releasing their tentative guidelines for next year and the state releasing theirs, it has caused a lot of… mixed feelings. From uninformed people saying their kids are going to die of carbon dioxide poisoning if you make them wear masks and the others fighting about how selfish non-mask wearers are, there have been a lot of opinions on this topic. As usual, I’m here to share mine and I’m choosing to look on the positives.

For instance, the biggest positive is that I won’t have to do “distance learning” with my kid every day of the week. Sure, I’ll have to do it 2 or 3 days a week potentially, but I’ll take that over struggling to get them to do their work done every day. Those other days, they will have the teacher in the classroom helping them out as best as they can with restrictions in place. I’m sure their help, even as restricted as it may be, is going to be a lot better than what I’m doing as I frustratingly scream at my youngest saying “Just use a calculator, I don’t even care anymore.”

I have started “doomsday prepping”, if you will. I ordered materials to make masks for the boys for school so that they can comply, while being as cool as possible. I bought some Spongebob fabric for my youngest, and this really neat “peacock” colored fabric for my oldest. I bought supplies ahead of any announcement because honestly, I don’t want to be put in a place where I’m stuck without anything I need and I have to resort to “homeschooling”.

I will be sending my boys back, even if these strict guidelines are in place. My oldest is going to be a senior and he needs to have as much of this senior experience as he can. My youngest has his own set of issues and getting him back into the strict routine school offers is going to be the best thing for him. Will getting him to wear the mask be hard? Maybe. But as someone with a terrible immune system, I’m okay with having extra protections to ensure I don’t get sick. It’s fine when you’re a healthy person to throw a fit about making your kid wear a mask, but this is for as much my protection as it is his.

I think the smaller classroom sizes only benefit the kids, especially kids like mine with sensory issues. With less “noise” going on around him, he might be able to focus better. The teachers may not be able to closely interact with the students, but they are still going to get more individualized attention in the classroom instead of getting lost in the shuffle of 19 other students. The teacher will be able to take more time explaining things that other kids are struggling with.

People tend to always have this knee-jerk reaction of negativity, without looking at the positive. Like, now I get to send my kid back to school for at least some of the time and regain some of that “me-time” I haven’t had since March. If done well, this could be a positive thing for students. I have to start thinking about the positives because right now everything seems to be on fire around us in the world that we need to start looking at the positives in the situation.

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The Duty of Writers

Writers are expected to have moments of poignant insight that stirs strong emotions in our readers. We’re supposed to be observational. We’re supposed to offer insight and opinions, eliciting some type of response. We are the people that others turn to in order to forget about life for a while, imagining other lands, or just to help them process something that they were otherwise struggling with processing. It’s a heavy weight to have to bear sometimes.

To continue with my last post, I did want to discuss what went on last week and what is still going on today. Tuesday’s post was to offer disdain for the people who were complicit in letting things get to how they are today and how we can help to make things better by voting those complicit players out of office. I did try to make it clear as possible that I stand with those fighting injustice. Today, I wanted take a different approach. I wanted to make it clear that sometimes it takes a fire to start fresh again. These protests are the fire, both figuratively and literally, it seems. It isn’t just one race marching; it’s a rainbow of support across the spectrum. Fighting racism is no longer an “Us vs. Them” mentality. This is a matter that impacts us all. We could sit quietly, but that’s not how change ever happens. That’s not how the LGBTQ+ community earned their “rights” (I use quotations, because they are still struggling to get the rights they deserve). That’s not how women got the right to vote. That’s not how the civil rights movement started. It started from people who were willing to shake things up.

I don’t condone violence. Police are there to protect people, not harm innocents. You shouldn’t assault a police officer because of the uniform they wear. Bad officers deserve to actually get punished for their crimes. The fact that they aren’t is the sole reason why people have trouble trusting the men and women in blue who are supposed to protect us. It’s the same reason why many struggle with Catholicism. You sweep a problem under the rug enough times, eventually people are going to revolt. It’s an unfortunate consequence of terrible actions. Rather than face things head on with courage as they should, they ignore the problem. They defend the indefensible. Sure, I had my knee on his neck for nearly 9 minutes, but he was on drugs and had COVID-19 and had heart problems and how was I to know that when he went unconscious after saying that he can’t breathe that putting the full weight of my body on his neck was going to hurt him? My bad. Over a potentially counterfeit $20? That’s why people are revolting. How many cases of brutality from cops do we hear? Even more terrifying, how many don’t we hear about?

I won’t immediately jump on the “f- police” bandwagon. I’ve had family serve with honor. My son hopes to be in law enforcement, with the goal of helping injustice in the world. To do so, would be a slap in the face of those good officers who died on duty while serving and protecting. But I also think that people do need to rise up and fight against these injustices that are hurting Americans. This continued racism is passed on to other generations. I see that when my son wasn’t played with because he was a “little Chinese boy” or when he told me about how other kids think he looks weird. I’m not blind to what’s going on. And these are kids who learned racism was okay from their parents. Kids aren’t born to hate; we teach them that. Our choice is to teach them to love and to fight for what they feel is right. My oldest wants to change the world by tackling change on the inside. As skeptical as I am that he can make a difference, I believe that I raised him with enough compassion and conviction that he can be one of the many of the next generation that can create change. Because that’s what we need right now.

So it’s not “F” police; it’s “F” the institution that encourages the bad behavior and refuses to hold those so-called “bad apples” accountable. How many crimes do they get away with, while their brothers and sisters protect them at all costs? Those are the people you want to get rid of. Not the ones taking the time out of their shift to play soccer with kids or giving them a reward for wearing a helmet while out biking. You want to encourage the good and get rid of the bad. When that happens, when you stop allowing them to be the judge, jury and executioner, then people might start trusting the police. It’s their job to enforce laws, not make them up as they go or only enforce them when they feel like it. Police should have the compassion for dealing with people while being courageous to help those in need. They shouldn’t be killing people on camera with no soul in their eyes and let people say “Well, this was a misunderstanding…” Sitting on a neck for nearly 9 minutes isn’t a misunderstanding; it’s murder.

To sum all of my 2 day posts up? It’s the institution that breeds and accepts these awful incidences that are at fault, not every single man and woman in blue. It’s the media at fault for pushing the agenda that makes them the most money. It’s the politicians that remain in power because they have divided and conquered us, while we sit around and blindly follow them. We are the ones who can make the change. Through protesting to see changes in policing policies and fighting for true equal rights. Through electing these people out of office. By stop watching the mainstream news because they are lying to us anyways. Maybe losing money and ratings will encourage them to start being the honorable institution that they once were. These are just some ways that we can help turn this sinking ship around.

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2020, Amirite?

Last week, you might have noticed that my blog was completely silent. I generally write about current events and parenting during my Tuesday/Thursday blog, depending really on how I feel. With the riots and protests last week (still going on this week), I couldn’t do it. Why? Because I’m a white girl from a middle class neighborhood that doesn’t feel it’s my place to discuss the plight of others. Why? Because I’ve never experienced an act of racism towards me. Aside from witnessing racist acts against my own child, I’ve never had to personally experience it so what right to I have to profit off an opinion on it? I stand by communities fighting injustice and somewhere I hope this means the world can start to change. I won’t hope too much because change is always a slow process. We promised change many decades ago, and look where we are today.

2020 has just been a dumpster fire. The year has only hit 6 months, just halfway through, and I feel like we should be celebrating New Years to just be done with it and start fresh in 2021. We should erase this year out of the history books, because there is so much that we should be ashamed of. I’m not going to say that having a democrat as president during these times would have made a difference, because who knows if it actually would have. But if there were a democrat in charge, I feel very positive that the people standing up with the President now wouldn’t feel as strongly about how great they are doing. Because they’re not. I don’t care what party is in office. What I do know is that we deserve a lot better than we are getting.

What is making this so bad? I think I’ll first put blame on the media. The left-biased options jump all over the President even if there’s nothing there. This stokes the fires of their base. The right-biased options consider him a messiah that can’t do anything wrong, which riles up the base to stand up for him when they really shouldn’t. If we had media that praised the good and held him accountable for the bad, regardless of political beliefs, things probably wouldn’t be so bad. The media on both side helps drive the wedge because neither want to stray away from their talking points. This is because rather than being the institution that held people accountable, they’ve become a business that just cares about ratings and money. They don’t care about silly things like facts. They pander to the masses and wonder why the world is going to hell.

This doesn’t mean that the politicians in charge are innocent parties. They are just as complicit when it comes to tearing the country apart. They work with the talking points (or even are the ones creating the talking points) for the media of their particular bias to further cause division. The President doesn’t help matters when there is a truth out there and he passes it off as “fake news” because let’s be honest, he’s lying and people just blindly follow. The minute that we somehow forgot the politicians lie and only want to benefit from their power was when things started to go downhill. I never take a politician’s word for anything. I wait for their actions to decide who they are. And I’m not liking anything that I’ve seen.

The people of this country are the only answer, but at this point, are we way past that? Have too many people been blinded by the people that most benefit from their ignorance? I really hope not. I hope that the sensible people that think independently and logically will start to become the voices of the next generation. We need less lemmings of a political party and more voices that speak out. Don’t just follow a movement because it’s cool; follow it because it’s right. Don’t follow politicians blindly because they honestly don’t care about you. Follow your own beliefs, even if they aren’t defined by a political party. That’s how we make the world a better place.

I’m sad about this. The people are revolting because of decades of fighting “the right way” have failed. I’d be mad as hell to if that were me. If that were my son, I’d probably set the world on fire myself. If you push people enough, they want to see the world burn. That’s where we are right now.

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The New School Year

Everyone is already looking ahead to the new school year, anxious to get the kids back to school in a setting where they can see their friends again. Mostly, I’m just excited to have someone else fight with their child why school work is important, even if it’s going to kill them from boredom. My home OT sessions have gone similarly horrible. In fact, I would be lying if I said I was confident my children are going to go back to school next year and be able to keep up with their peers. My only real comfort is knowing that my kids aren’t the only one with the “worst teacher ever” right now.

If you’ve been on social media, you have seen everyone share those new guidelines from the CDC about opening up the schools. I definitely have. I read them. They seem insane, to say the least. Not that I don’t believe there should be some guidelines, but that I don’t believe they can accomplish what they want. Not in my school district, at least. 1 kid per seat on the bus and skipping rows? My oldest son’s bus has kids sitting 3 to a seat and that isn’t even enough for them. How is that going to work? Are we going to magically come up with more buses when we can barely afford to meet the needs of the teachers and students as is? What about expecting young children to keep a mask on all day? That’s not realistic at all. It’s not realistic. And aside from the mask policy, 90% of it probably won’t even be put into effect in most districts.

I get the point. I understand the point. I don’t believe in those conspiracy theories about fear mongering and how the flu kills more people just because your media told you that line once and you just believed it. Or because you heard it, wanted to verify it, then just ignored the 20 other articles that disprove this point and use that one article from the National Review to show that you’re right. You’re not right, if you read the actual science behind the numbers. Here’s a brief rundown, in case you’re interested: it all comes down to testing. Since the CDC can’t ensure that everyone who died of a flu-related complication was actually tested for the flu, they essentially estimate a number to what they think it is based on some algorithm that I probably wouldn’t even understand if I tried. I got this information from Live Science, then looked at several other articles that ended up sharing the same exact information. I could be wrong. I’m not unwilling to hear actual facts to prove me wrong. But, this is what my research has shown me. Even still, their estimate was around 62,000 people dying of the flu this year. Which is, for those who like math, is less than the over 90,000 people who died of the coronavirus-related complications.

What these 2 illnesses do have in common is that by taking the proper precautions, you can minimize your risk and the risk of others. I’m not saying don’t live your life. I’m just saying don’t be stupid. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Back to the original point of the post: what about our kids? People around social media are in an uproar on the community forums. “I’ll just homeschool my kids.” I don’t know about anyone else, but I can barely keep up with my “I need money to survive” workload and the very, very, very basic remote learning things that I have to keep up with. If you’re already struggling with that, good freaking luck actually homeschooling your kids. You have to prove that you are competent by the school district’s standards to homeschool, have to essentially submit lesson plans/hours of instruction, and follow strict regulations based on your school district. You have to be in compliance with laws around homeschooling. Then, there are those other aspects of not having that socialization in the school environment and missing out on those activities they get to enjoy in school like goofing off on the bus during field trips or school dances. I’m not anti-homeschooling; I’m very much in approval of parents who do what they feel is right for their kids. What I do want to make people realize is that if you’re struggling now, homeschooling isn’t a viable option for you.

The thing is, this is just information based on what we know today. This is a new beast we are dealing with here. We might have better answers about it, more testing, and a vaccine by the time we send our kids back to school. No one really knows much about anything. But, what I do know is that I’m going to follow the people who are experts in science, specifically infectious diseases, to form my opinion. Not some hack job on the internet that is only spewing misinformation because for some reason people have an adverse-reaction to facts and misinformation can be very profitable. Keeping yourself educated with the latest, and I can’t stress this word enough, FACTS is really going to be the only way we get through this.

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And We Start to Open Up Again

I don’t particularly care to debate whether or not opening up is 100% the right thing. Because honestly, it won’t ever be 100% the right thing until there’s better testing, tracking, and a vaccine. That’s just science. As someone who does get sick often and badly, I take a look at this in a more realistic way. Again, I know I could choose not to go out to stay safe and that’s my plan. I’m not living in fear. I’m living in protection. I’ve been bedridden by sinus infections before because they get so bad, imagine if I got this? My family understands that. My parents are in the high-risk category, so my kids haven’t gotten to hug or really see their grandparents aside from waving in the window. My husband wears his mask and takes as much precaution as he can to stay safe, but there’s no real guarantee that he won’t bring something home to us. That’s a risk that we’re supposed to be willing to take.

But just because they government is opening up the world, that doesn’t mean I’m going to participate. I watch the daily rises and falls in the numbers. Until they get to a much lower place, I’m staying home and no one is coming into my house. I honestly don’t care about anything except keeping my family safe, which includes taking the precautions I need to so that I don’t end up dead. Dramatic? Maybe. But I just want to make very clear that peer pressure doesn’t work on me and I’m not going to do something because crazies with a gun think I’m irrational and living in fear. If I’m the one living in fear, how come you’re the one with the gun?

I’ll probably lose friends along the way. I’ll piss off family members that already don’t agree with my decision. It’s not their decision to make. I’m not withholding my kids from anyone. People can call them, voice chat with them, but we already have such a short time on this earth. I’m not going to go out with tubes down my throat because someone thinks I’m trying to hurt their feelings. I’m not. I’m doing what I believe is the right thing and you’re not going to convince me otherwise unless you’re an experienced and highly educated medical professional. Because science.

If you choose to go out and let your kids run around in large masses, that’s what you think is the right move for the safety of your family. I won’t judge you for that. But I would appreciate not being judged for what I think is the safe and right thing to do for the safety of my family.